I need your help reacting to something. – Abed
Author: Eric Berlin
Community, “Pascal’s Triangle Revisited”: dancing days are here again
“Finally, a last day of school plot twist.” – Abed
The Beatles – Please Please Me: #257 of best 1,000 albums ever!
Love, love me do. You know I love you.
Deal or No Deal Island takes its sums of money to the island tropics
Boston Rob: “This might be some of my best work to date.”
Community, “Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps”: who’s crazy now?
“Devil here! Just popping by with a little damnation orientation.” – Devil-Dean Pelton
Community, “Geography of Global Conflict”: Annie vs. Annie Kim
“Maybe at the Peace Summit we can discuss the possibility of opening a portal to Earth Two… Earth Two is out there! Can’t ignore it forever.” – Abed
Hole – Celebrity Skin: #258 of best 1,000 albums ever!
Oh, make me over, I’m all I wanna be – a walking study in demonology.
Community, “Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism”: the night approacheth
“The night beckons.” – Batman-Abed
Community, “Documentary Filmmaking: Redux”: the story about a story
“Some flies are too awesome for the wall.” – Abed
The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live tries to put Rick and Michonne back together again
If you like The Walking Dead, you’re likely to… LIKE The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Hello Kitty in a One Horse Town”: smellology in the dating arena
“No offense, she’s a large sized woman.” – Patti
Little Women: NY, “Big City, Little Women”: six little women, one Filipino sidekick
“You gotta have that attitude to live in New York.” – Jordanna
Sin City Murders examines “chilling homicide cases” in Las Vegas
I’m guessing the Las Vegas Tourism Board isn’t going to be actively promoting Sin City Murders, but who knows?
Community, “Curriculum Unavailable”: renewed perspective
“Talk to me about Crazy Town Banana-Pants.” – Dr. Heidi
Community, “Course Listing Unavailable”: the Greendale Seven
He also left me his ashes. He asked me to burn them. I don’t think he knows how ashes work.” – Abed
Community, “Cooperative Calligraphy”: case of the missing pen
“I still think that man will evolve into woman, not a three-headed dragon.” – Britta
Beck – Sea Change: #259 of best 1,000 albums ever!
I’m tired of fighting, fighting for a lost cause.
Community, “Contemporary American Poultry”: streets ahead
“Abed, the mafia movie is over.” – Jeff
Community, “Contemporary Impressionists”: post-break breakdown
“Hot. Hot hot hot. – Evil Abed
Community, “Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design”: fake guns, blanket forts, and Dean Danger
“If you conspire with every person who approaches you, you’re not even really conspiring with anyone, you’re just doing random crap.” – Annie
Community, “Competitive Ecology”: odd Todd out
“The way she left, I could tell that somebody – or something – had really put the scare on her. But what? Why? Stapler? Was I crazy, or were they somehow connected?” – Chang’s inner monologue
Community, “Blankets and Pillows”: a dramatic (re)telling
“Part man, part pillow, all carnage.” – Narrator
The Second Best Hospital in the Galaxy solves all the animated sci-fi comedy ailments
Tup, Plowp, Sleech, and Vlam, sign me up!
Formula 1: Drive to Survive Season 6 switches everything else off
“To be a Formula 1 driver,” the Season 6 teaser trailer tells us, “you need to be able to switch yourself off from everything that is happening around you. But when you get in that car, the noise goes away.”
Poacher goes hunting after ivory hunters in Kerala, India
“There hasn’t been elephant poaching in Kerala since early ‘90s…”
Married to the Game shows off the Premier League WAGs life
Unprecedented access to the lives of the wives and girlfriends of Premier League footballers.
Apartment404: a Korean retro reality competition show where home front mysteries abound
“Would you like to login?”
Community, “Beginner Pottery”: SS Nose Candy
“This class is like a redhead who drinks scotch and watches Die Hard.” – Jeff
Community, “Biology 101”: magical tables and musical chairs
“You are human tennis elbow. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth. You’re the opposite of Batman.” – Troy to Britta
James Brown: Say It Loud docuseries highlights the Hardest Working Man In Show Business
Delve “into the immeasurable musical and cultural impact of the entertainment icon.”
Community, “Basic Genealogy”: Amber alert
“Guys, I’ll be back. But with booty.” – Jeff
Community, “Basic Lupine Urology”: lawless and disorderly
“Boiling water is the icicle-stabbing of yam-killing.” – Jeff
Community, “Anthropology 101”: for every Barbie with a Cosmo subscription
“Abed, why are you mining my life for classic sitcom scenarios?” – Jeff to Abed
Community, “Advanced Gay”: pocketful of Hawthornes
“I’m gonna eat spaceman-Paninis with black Hitler and there’s nothing you can do about it!” – Troy
Community, “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas”: the true meaning of the holidays
“There’s nothing left to do now but heal and share the experience with as many reputable journals as possible.” – Professor Duncan
30 Rock, “Idiots Are People Three”: midlife crisis averted
“I’m fighting a losing battle.” – Liz Lemon
30 Rock, “When it Rains, It Pours”: Red Light Challenge
“Full disclosure, most of my experience is putting babies in women.” – Dr. Spaceman
Eminem – Relapse: #260 of best 1,000 albums ever!
So crack a bottle, let your body waddle, don’t act like a snobby model you just hit the lotto.
Renovation Aloha gets its tropical house flipping on in Hawaii
Tune in for house flipping and home reno in Hawaiian paradise.
30 Rock, “The Fabian Strategy”: battle lines are drawn
“Okay. Season Five. Here we go.” – Liz
30 Rock, “Mrs. Donaghy”: honeymoon from hell
“She is… difficult.” – Dr. Spaceman on dating Squeaky Fromme
30 Rock, “Live Show”: east side
“But we can use ‘It’s Your B-Day, Bitch’ by Snooki’s mom.” – Pete
Naked and Afraid Season 17 slips into something a little less comfortable
“I guess we’re gonna eat leaches later.”
Eagles of Death Metal – Peace Love Death Metal: #261 of best 1,000 albums ever!
You’re always saying, it’s so easy.
30 Rock, “Let’s Stay Together”: diversity day
“You get an ‘I Met a Congresswoman’ sticker.” – Regina Goodman
The Dynasty: The New England Patriots spotlights a football dynasty
A new Apple TV+ docuseries digs into the New England Patriot’s incredible success (and controversies) during the 21st Century.
The Proof Is Out There digs into UFOs and other spooky phenomena
The Proof is Out There is a TV docuseries that investigates “mysterious” videos, photos, and audio recordings, using technology and experts.
Totally Funny Kids shows off America’s funniest and wildest young ‘uns
Totally Funny Kids features funny, absurd, and sometimes shocking videos from the youngest members of the family.
Bold & Bougie keeps it real down in Atlanta
“What is wrong with liking nice things? I like nice stuff,” so says Tameka. And that’s just the beginning, people.
David Bowie – Let’s Dance: #262 of best 1,000 albums ever!
And I’ve been putting out the fire with gasoline.
Suits: L.A. – Suits… suits back up for Los Angeles-based spin-off
Suits: LA is helmed by the same team that brought us Suits and has cast Stephen Amell in the lead role.
30 Rock, “Future Husband”: weakness tissues
“I’m either very happy right now, or having a pretty bad Donkey Spell.” – Kenneth
30 Rock, “Gentleman’s Intermission”: the Buck stops here
“I’m looking for D.I.C.K., Avery.” – Jack
30 Rock, “Khonani”: the tonight shift
“Have I not told you about my grandmother fetish?” – Jack Donaghy
30 Rock, “Klaus and Greta”: albino monks
James Franco in love with Japanese body pillows = funny.
30 Rock, “Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter”: prison weed
“Even you can’t pull this off, Jack. Mrs. Doubtfire shimself could not do this.” – Liz to Jack
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Cookies and Ice, and Everything Nice”: squishy gishy
“It’s not like, hey world, see my tits!” – Patti
Good Morning, Vietnam: The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack: #263 of best 1,000 albums ever!
Baby, please don’t go down to New Orleans, you know I love you so, baby please don’t go.
Love & WWE: Bianca & Montez, “Long Distance Love”: going to Chamber
“I have to share him with the world even more now.” – Bianca
The Office, “WUPHF.com”: the next sensation
“If I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob, I can pretty much sell anything.” – Jim
The Office, “Viewing Party”: gleeking out
“There’s this thing on Glee called mash-up where two things that don’t go together make one great song. Take Gabe. Take Michael. You make Gay Mike. Best friends.” – Erin
Miles Davis – Kind of Blue: #264 of best 1,000 albums ever!
Wherein we take the journey through the three phases that led to Kind of Blue.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Cooking and Queening”: plowing ’till the corn comes up
“I know you are because your tits are telling me.” – Patti
The Office, “Threat Level Midnight”: Scarn, Michael Scarn
“It’s gonna take a lot more than a bullet to the brain, lungs, heart, back and balls to kill Michael Scarn.” – Michael Scott
The Office, “Training Day”: end of an era
“Deangelo is great. I love the guy. But I’m not sure he’s a great fit for the office. And I’m not sure I love the guy.” – Michael Scott
The Office, “Ultimatum”: New Year’s resolutions
“I’m really excited for Michael either way, because if Holly chooses to be with him, he will be so, so happy. And if not, he’ll be avoiding the biggest mistake of his life.” – Erin
The Zombies – Begin Here: #265 of best 1,000 albums ever!
But it’s too late to say you’re sorry: how would I know, why should I care? Please don’t bother trying to find her – she’s not there.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “House of Cards”: the bimbo comment
“Snip, snip, snip. Off go the balls.” – Patti
The Office, “The Sting”: rival salesmen
“People can’t keep their true natures hidden for long and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.” – Dwight
The Office, “The Search”: finding a way back
“Her personality is like a three. Her sense of humor is a two. Her ears are like a seven, and a four. Add it all up and what do you get? 16. And he treats her like she’s a perfect forty.” – Erin, about Holly
The Office, “Sex Ed”: pros and cons of sex
“I have a disease, of which there is no known cure. It has been sexually transmitted to me. I can’t even say it. H-I-R-P-E-E-S.” – Michael Scott
The Office, “Michael’s Last Dundies”: passing the torch
“Anything can happen at the Dundies. They’re like the Golden Globes only less mean.” – Michael
The Office, “Goodbye Michael”: a fond farewell
“The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends.” – Michael
The Office, “Garage Sale”: your wife becoming me will I
“I am not going to be proposed to in the break room. That is not going to be our story. I shoulda burned this place down when I had a chance.” – Michael
The Office, “Costume Contest”: miniature ponies
“I just made Kevin cry and Gabe looks like Lady Gaga. That’s not Halloween. Halloween should be a day where we honor monsters and not be mad at each other.” –Michael
The Office, “Classy Christmas”: Holly’s return
“In the end, the greatest snowball isn’t a snowball at all… it’s fear. Merry Christmas.” – Dwight
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Brooklyn vs. Botox”: sake bombs
“I’m looking for a girl with junk in the trunk, Kim Kardashian-style.” – Jason
The Office, “Christening”: this is happening
“Why you always gotta be so mean to me?“ – Toby to God
Madonna – The Immaculate Collection: #266 of best 1,000 albums ever!
We are living in a material world, and I am a material girl.
The Office, “Andy’s Play”: amateur hour
“Women can not resist a man singing show tunes. It’s so powerful even a lot of men can’t resist a man singing show tunes.” – Andy Bernard
The Office, “Whistleblower”: woof
Time for The Office to sail into the 5pm sunset while the getting is still pretty good?
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Reunion Part 1”: bad pennies come home to roost
The ghosts of Patti’s past come back to haunt her on the Season 5 Millionaire Matchmaker reunion special.
Couple to Throuple: reality TV expands to couples looking for a “third”
“If you were given the chance at non-monogamy in paradise, what would you do?”
Manu Chao – Próxima Estación: Esperanza: #267 of best 1,000 albums ever!
Me gusta viajar, me gustas tú.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Jersey in the House”: spin, spin, spin
“No offense, if she’s a Pilates instructor, did she eat the entire class?” – Patti
The Office, “St. Patrick’s Day”: boot and rally
The Office needs more Darryl. How often can we say that?
The Office, “Secretary’s Day”: cookie monster
“Is that the show where all the puppets live in the barrio?” – Dwight
The Office, “Happy Hour”: date Mike
“You can be gay with Matt, but be straight with me.” – Darryl to Oscar
Toddlers and Tiaras, “Lollipops and Gumdrops Pageant”: MaKenzie’s back
A Toddlers and Tiaras all-star returns to steal the show.
Voodoo Glow Skulls – Firme: #268 of best 1,000 albums ever!
Let’s shoot the moon.
Alone: Frozen, “50 Day Freeze”: squirrel alarm
Winning Survivor seems kind of easy compared to this, was my first thought.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Welcome to the Big Apple”: douchebag city
“The Gruber chastity belt, it’s made of like a titanium alloy.” – Bryce Gruber
Kitchen Nightmares, “Revisited, Part 2”: flashback time eaters
Gordan Ramsay revisits two restaurants, which provides an opportunity to eat up lots of time with flashback footage.
Kitchen Nightmares, “Revisited, Part 1”: negative negative
“You know what a guido is? That’s what she’s looking for.” – Adele on fortysomething daughter Cheryl
Kitchen Nightmares, “Mill Street Bistro, Part II”: oh Joe
“My dad wanted to choke Joe out.” – Mill Street Bistro employee
Kitchen Nightmares, “Mill Street Bistro, Part 1”: greasy slop
“You’re a small man with a fake bistro.” – Gordon Ramsay
Kitchen Nightmares, “La Galleria 33 Part 2”: lunatics leading the asylum
“I really want to go home. I need a cooler… I’m just gonna have a glass of wine.” – Lisa
Kitchen Nightmares, “La Galleria 33 Part 1”: beginning of the end
“I’m really hoping he’s not getting the seafood ravioli.” – Rita
Queen – Sheer Heart Attack: #269 of best 1,000 albums ever!
She’s a killer queen, gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser beam. Guaranteed to blow your mind anytime.
90 Day Fiancé, “Dearly Beloved”: I’m freaking out
It’s a new season of 90 Day Fiancé, and we meet four new couples: Ashley and Manuel, Jasmine and Gino, Sophie and Rob, and Nicole and Justin.