“If I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob, I can pretty much sell anything.” – Jim
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Tag: The Office
The Office, “Viewing Party”: gleeking out
“There’s this thing on Glee called mash-up where two things that don’t go together make one great song. Take Gabe. Take Michael. You make Gay Mike. Best friends.” – Erin
The Office, “Threat Level Midnight”: Scarn, Michael Scarn
“It’s gonna take a lot more than a bullet to the brain, lungs, heart, back and balls to kill Michael Scarn.” – Michael Scott
The Office, “Training Day”: end of an era
“Deangelo is great. I love the guy. But I’m not sure he’s a great fit for the office. And I’m not sure I love the guy.” – Michael Scott
The Office, “Ultimatum”: New Year’s resolutions
“I’m really excited for Michael either way, because if Holly chooses to be with him, he will be so, so happy. And if not, he’ll be avoiding the biggest mistake of his life.” – Erin
The Office, “The Sting”: rival salesmen
“People can’t keep their true natures hidden for long and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.” – Dwight
The Office, “The Search”: finding a way back
“Her personality is like a three. Her sense of humor is a two. Her ears are like a seven, and a four. Add it all up and what do you get? 16. And he treats her like she’s a perfect forty.” – Erin, about Holly
The Office, “Sex Ed”: pros and cons of sex
“I have a disease, of which there is no known cure. It has been sexually transmitted to me. I can’t even say it. H-I-R-P-E-E-S.” – Michael Scott
The Office, “Michael’s Last Dundies”: passing the torch
“Anything can happen at the Dundies. They’re like the Golden Globes only less mean.” – Michael
The Office, “Goodbye Michael”: a fond farewell
“The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends.” – Michael
The Office, “Garage Sale”: your wife becoming me will I
“I am not going to be proposed to in the break room. That is not going to be our story. I shoulda burned this place down when I had a chance.” – Michael
The Office, “Costume Contest”: miniature ponies
“I just made Kevin cry and Gabe looks like Lady Gaga. That’s not Halloween. Halloween should be a day where we honor monsters and not be mad at each other.” –Michael
The Office, “Classy Christmas”: Holly’s return
“In the end, the greatest snowball isn’t a snowball at all… it’s fear. Merry Christmas.” – Dwight
The Office, “Andy’s Play”: amateur hour
“Women can not resist a man singing show tunes. It’s so powerful even a lot of men can’t resist a man singing show tunes.” – Andy Bernard
The Office, “Whistleblower”: woof
Time for The Office to sail into the 5pm sunset while the getting is still pretty good?
The Office, “St. Patrick’s Day”: boot and rally
The Office needs more Darryl. How often can we say that?
The Office, “Secretary’s Day”: cookie monster
“Is that the show where all the puppets live in the barrio?” – Dwight
The Office, “Happy Hour”: date Mike
“You can be gay with Matt, but be straight with me.” – Darryl to Oscar
The Office, “Fun Run”: LAp BANDING
The best thing since sliced bread, or in this case, the best thing since paper.