“Pantsing someone was on my list.” – Abed
“Pantsing someone was on my list.” – Abed
There’s no such thing as Single-Malt Platinum Boobs and Billiards Club? Oh… I guess I never said it out loud. – Jeff
“This is our apartment, too, and just because we’re… awesome… doesn’t mean we’re not adults!” – Troy
“I choose shorts!” – Jeff
“We have to save Christmas to save our friends.” – Troy and Abed
I need your help reacting to something. – Abed
“Finally, a last day of school plot twist.” – Abed
“Devil here! Just popping by with a little damnation orientation.” – Devil-Dean Pelton
“Maybe at the Peace Summit we can discuss the possibility of opening a portal to Earth Two… Earth Two is out there! Can’t ignore it forever.” – Abed
“The night beckons.” – Batman-Abed
“Some flies are too awesome for the wall.” – Abed
“Talk to me about Crazy Town Banana-Pants.” – Dr. Heidi
He also left me his ashes. He asked me to burn them. I don’t think he knows how ashes work.” – Abed
“I still think that man will evolve into woman, not a three-headed dragon.” – Britta
“Abed, the mafia movie is over.” – Jeff
“Hot. Hot hot hot. – Evil Abed
“If you conspire with every person who approaches you, you’re not even really conspiring with anyone, you’re just doing random crap.” – Annie
“The way she left, I could tell that somebody – or something – had really put the scare on her. But what? Why? Stapler? Was I crazy, or were they somehow connected?” – Chang’s inner monologue
“Part man, part pillow, all carnage.” – Narrator
“This class is like a redhead who drinks scotch and watches Die Hard.” – Jeff
“You are human tennis elbow. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth. You’re the opposite of Batman.” – Troy to Britta
“Guys, I’ll be back. But with booty.” – Jeff
“Boiling water is the icicle-stabbing of yam-killing.” – Jeff
“Abed, why are you mining my life for classic sitcom scenarios?” – Jeff to Abed
“I’m gonna eat spaceman-Paninis with black Hitler and there’s nothing you can do about it!” – Troy
“There’s nothing left to do now but heal and share the experience with as many reputable journals as possible.” – Professor Duncan