“Why is my life so hard?” – Maci. “Because you had unprotected sex.” – Friend
Maci, Amber, Farrah, and Catelynn return with cameras documenting their lives for the third season of Teen Mom, and yet again these girls are attracting the drama. I say “girls” because two years after their mutual pregnancies at the tender age of 16, all four of them are still desperately trying to navigate the transition from childhood into adulthood with 18-month-old babies on their hips.
Of the four, Catelynn (who gave her daughter up for adoption) is arguably faring better than her peers but there’s still an aimless quality associated with all of these mothers as they continue to sort through heavy issues like errant child support, obstinate exes, anger management issues and even basic housing. As 18-year-olds technically deemed “adults” by society, Teen Mom continues to illustrate the lack of choices young parenthood thrusts upon these ladies, and more importantly the immaturity they are all still struggling to overcome. When Maci whines to her friend mid-episode, “Why is my life so hard?” I guarantee everyone watching at home nodded in approval at her friend’s remarkably frank and mature response of “Because you had unprotected sex.” Repercussions, thy name is Teen Mom.
The premiere updates where the girls are now. First off is Maci who is living in Nashville for the summer with her beau Kyle and taking a break from work (must be nice?). Her biggest frustration is driving baby Bentley to her ex Ryan’s house for their shared custody arrangement. Her relationship with Ryan is hostile as ever and further tweaked when his child support payment doesn’t show up in her bank account.
Unsure if he’s withholding, she finds out that he can go to jail for six months for being in contempt. Not wanting Bentley to have a jail bird for a daddy, she confronts Ryan who says he’s been paying. Always the charmer, Ryan then texts Maci (when she’s two feet across from him) asking if Kyle is slow. Of course she’s insulted as he tries to defend his query but saying tons of people have asked and he’s concerned who his son is hanging out with down in Tennessee. Maci goes home and discovers a bank error was to blame for her lack of funds, so Ryan is off one hook but now she’s got to figure out how to integrate a very unwilling Kyle and Ryan into Bentley’s life.
Next is aspiring model Farrah, who is balancing school, work, and some modeling with her full-time parenting of Sophia. Her heated relationship with her mom Debra is much improved at the moment (Debra gave her daughter a split lip last season) which lets Farrah focus on something super important – new boobs! Yes, Farrah wants to treat herself to some C-cups so she can jumpstart her modeling career.
In a dizzying display of skewed priorities, Farrah figures she won’t dip into her savings because that’s for Sophia and will instead get a bank loan of $5700 for the procedure. The only sane one is Debra who says Farrah needs to have a will set up so if something goes wrong, Sophia’s future is considered. Farrah shockingly listens and sets up her mother as her daughter’s guardian and then goes under the knife. Boobs added, Farrah comes home and proceeds to be a bitch to her concerned dad because, hey, guess what — the surgery gave her more pain than expected. That doesn’t bode well for her new boobs creating employment miracles in the future… unless Hooter’s is hiring.
Meanwhile the ongoing saga of co-dependent messes Amber and Gary continues as he manages to woo his hot-tempered ex into taking him back. Amber still hasn’t graduated high school but she is seeing Chris, who is super into her. Yet Gary’s call to reconcile puts the pair face-to-face at the uber-romantic Johnny Rockets where they ponder their possible future together once more.
They agree to see a couple’s counselor and at the first meeting it only takes Amber seconds to rail at Gary for cheating on her. In maybe his first act of maturity, Gary admits he was trying to hurt her and it was wrong and he’s sorry. Even the counselor is impressed but Amber admits how debilitating it was to her self-esteem and that comes out in her explosive anger. With those admissions, the counselor sees there could be some hope for them and the duo decide to try again for their daughter’s sake. That leaves Amber to dump Chris in the front seat of her car. Anyone else get a case of the sads for poor Chris? Come to think of it, he got out alive. Run, Chris!
Lastly, Catelynn and Tyler are still living the trailer life with her mom. After a house break-in, the clan decides they need to move on to safer pastures. Catelynn’s grandmother offers mom and little Nick to move in with her, but no one else. That gets Catelynn and Tyler to ponder renting their own apartment and serious co-habitation. Catelynn’s mom gives her quasi-blessing, while Tyler’s mom thinks her son is rushing to grow up. Tyler, a bit heartbreakingly, admits giving up his daughter makes him feel older than his 18 years and that he needs this kind of push to do something with his life. The question is: are these kids even close to being financially or emotionally ready for that kind of jump? The season will tell for all of them.
This review originally appeared on TV Geek Army.