“That’s what I love about you, your brains are hot.” – Lulu
In a way, ABC Family is a lot like Coca Cola. They’ve both found a formula that works for them and their costumers and they stick with it. Coke’s formula is a secret. ABC Family’s formula… not so secret. Take a bunch of really attractive teenagers (or actors in their twenties playing teenagers), mix in some soap opera trashiness, cut the trashiness with some wholesome life lessons that the entire family can feel good about, stir, repeat.
Occasionally the results are good, like in the case of Greek. Mostly they’re bad, like with The Secret Life of an American Teenager. And sometimes the results just are. They’re neither good, nor bad, pleasant, nor unpleasant. They simply exist. They are the formula at it’s most formulaic. A good example of this kind of show would be something like The Lying Game.
ABC’s new drama (comedy? dramedy?) Jane By Design falls squarely in this latter category. Throughout the pilot episode, I really struggled to work up any real feeling about the show, negatively or positively. It wasn’t so awful that I immediately felt the need to turn it off. But at the same time when the episode ended, I didn’t feel any gratification from having seen it. Honestly, it would have been a rather painless (yet also pleasureless) hour of my life IF the Sugar Bowl wasn’t airing at the same time. Unfortunately, that’s a pretty big IF, so I have to admit I may have missed a few chunks of the show during particularly exciting portions of the game.
Fortunately for you, the reader, I saw enough to give you the gist of what the show’s about.
The main character of the show, as evidenced by the presence of her name in the show’s tile, is Jane Quimby, played by a charming enough Erica Dasher. Jane is a high school student struggling to make ends meet after the loss of her parents. Her dream in life is to go to Parsons School of Design and become a fashion designer, so she takes a job as a “beck and call girl” (not nearly as sexy as it sounds) for a New York fashion house.
The star power on the show is provided by Andie MacDowell, who plays Jane’s super-demanding boss Gray Chandler Murray. She’s like a younger, more attractive version of the Meryl Streep character from The Devil Wears Prada. Or at least that’s what my girlfriend told me, given that I, as a self-respecting male, have not seen The Devil Wears Prada.
You might be wondering why a relatively well-known actress would agree to appear in this kind of television show. Well, here’s why: As part of Gray’s job, she travels a lot, meaning she’s almost never in the same room as Jane. She only appears a couple of times via a video-chat. What this means is that Andie MacDowell could have potentially filmed all of her scenes in an afternoon, called it a day and laughed her way to the bank to deposit a modest check from ABC Family.
Drama at Jane’s new job is mirrored by drama at school, where she vacillates between being utterly ignored or viciously picked on. Both are equally absurd, given the fact that no one in high school would ignore a girl as attractive as Dasher, nor would anyone torture someone as charming.
Like I said before, I didn’t hate this show. However, I see no reason to recommend it to anyone, unless you are really into the fashion industry or you’re a huge Erica Dasher fan. If you find yourself in either of these two camps, give it a shot. If not, Jane By Design probably isn’t going to do much for you.
This review originally appeared on TV Geek Army.