“When you come in, it’s that instant surge of space and volume.” – Oli
This edition of Buying London opens with Juliana and a few of the other ladies of high-end London real estate firm DDRE doing a cryotherapy session together – the thing where you shock your body with crazy cold temperatures for a short amount of time for, in theory, health benefits (which includes a conversation about these benefits include one’s “lady parts”) – and this brings up a few immediate questions.
But the biggest one is: have any co-workers ever gone off together to all do cryotherapy sessions (the thing where you shock your body, crazy cold, etc. etc.)? Or is this a producer-directed, reality TV show device to show some bonding after what went down at the team dinner at the end of the premiere episode, “Let the Property Games Begin,” or what?
Maybe if you have to ask the question… you have your answer.
Perhaps it’s a little telling that I’m into the second episode of Buying London and I have a really hard time keeping the DDRE staffers – Rasa, Laura, etc. – figured out from one another. I’m still in the this one is still miffed at that one for getting the big listing or whatever phase of my Buying London viewing participation.
It’s interesting to note that whereas the first episode leads with DDRE founder Daniel Daggers going on at some length about how he’s “Mr. Super Prime,” this one eases him into the action. His affableness is one of the more appealing aspects of the show in a I don’t mind having this reality show on as a second screen while I pay my bills kind of way, and it’s also clear that he’s genuinely pretty laid back, particularly for a CEO of a high-powered company-type role.
Meanwhile, we head back to ritzy pockets of central London, which are genuinely the stars of the show, really, for good and ill. Daniel heads to the City of Westminster to meet up with Alex Bourne, founder of London House.
“Never on time,” Bourne says upon Daniel’s arrival.
“Never have to be,” Daniel responds.
The two are there to assess the sale of Culcross House, Mayfair, which boasts an impressive six bedrooms, six bathrooms, and 8,060 square feet. Oh, and it also boasts an asking “guide price” of £26,950,000* with potential commission of £539,000. And as these stats flash on the screen, I’m reminded that Buying London skirts a fine (and strange) line between being a flat-out Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous-style HGTV docuseries and more of a Bravo-model catty Flipping Out-style reality TV vehicle.
* That’s about $34 million in U.S. dollars. So I’d use the word “pricey” for this place.
I must admit that I’m really into the indoor swimming pool in this one.
So much so that I’m not really tuned into the dynamic between Daniel and Bourne, something about Daniel thinking he’s the big dog with Alex the puppy.
Also distracting: Alex looks like he’s had some combination of lots of cosmetic surgery, or he’s wearing lots of on camera makeup, or both.
There’s something in the editing of reality shows where you can kind of feel the lack of drama. On Vanderpump Rules or Summer House or Below Deck, as viewers we don’t feel the random space and gap in moments that we all feel in regular life, because regular life for the vast majority of us doesn’t include constant drama (and that’s why we seek it out in reality shows during our leisure time!).
And on Buying London, we often feel that “lack of drama,” for lack of a better way to state it. We are watching good looking, fit, wealthy people doing their job amid beautiful homes and surroundings… but that’s not really enough of a show.
Buying London tries to sell us on tensions and other rando flirtations between the DDRE team, but I’d say there’s not enough there to make a solid commission, really.
Beyond that, well, there’s the real estate. Here’s some additional notes I jotted down as we got our fill of obnoxiously expensive, drop-dead gorgeous homes in the United Kingdom this time around.
Stanmore HA7, London Borough of Harrow
Stanmore, North London – 6 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms, 9,154 square feet
£7,000,000
- Oli and Rosi are co-listing and don’t want to screw it up
- Mala is the potential buyer – she’s got three kids, and is looking for space
- My favorite bit: there’s discussion of “having room for staff in the house is so much better, really.” Or something to that extent
St. George’s Hill KT13 | Borough of Elmbridge
1.5 acres of land
7 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms, 11,948 square feet
£9,750,000 guide price — £195,000 commission
- John Lennon apparently lived there for four years, which if true is actually quite interesting. But then it’s casually mentioned that the loft space above the “snooker room” is where “lots of The Beatles songs were written,” and I’m like, I’m gonna need to see some receipts for that one, please.
- We also get a lot of lines like, “I’m really, really excited about this listing.” And, “I feel like everyone in the office thinks you’re Danny’s favorite.” Which feels like a retread of “Let the Property Games Begin,” which makes me think that Buying London is running on fumes, plot-wise, after two episodes.
Sanbanks BH13 | Poole
Bella Vista, Sandbanks
4 bedrooms, 4 baths, 4,000 square feet
£5,000,000 guide price, £50,000 commission
- “Sandbanks is a beautiful coastline in the south of England.” Price per square foot “exceeds the prices of Miami and Monte Carlo,” we’re told. About a two-hour drive from London… “but closer via helicopter,” queue the sound track!
- Rasa and Lauren meet Lola, a listing agent, and there’s not much of interest after that
Coastal House, Sandbanks
5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, 3,275 square feet
£2,500,000 guide price, £25,000 commission
- They keep visiting “cheaper” houses during this episode so £2.5 million starts to seem like a pauper’s shack by the end.