“I don’t think I’m offended, but I’m definitely disturbed (and amused).”
It’s time to go on one of those adventures where I leave my scripted comfort zone and watch random reality television that I generally avoid like the plague because I’m a snob. Come with me. It’s always amazing and infinitely better than sitting around lamenting the fact that White Collar bores me so very very much this season and Matt Bomer being pretty can only get me so far.
If you are easily offended by misogynist menfolk, then this probably isn’t the show for you, but I’m not easily offended by them, so this might just end up being one of those series that I watch alone with the blinds drawn because, well, I have a reputation to defend and I can’t very well make fun of American Idolizers and Kate Gosselin apologists if I’m watching this, right?
Oh who am I kidding, of course I can.
From the very same network that made a lot of money from inflating Ms. Gosselin’s ego</a> and continues to insist upon rewarding Michelle Duggar for turning her uterus into a clown car year after year after year, comes Undercover Princes, which they’re actually borrowing from the BBC because when you make something as iconic as Doctor Who, you need to counter with something that is utterly forgettable or else we start to expect too much of you.
Luckily for TLC, they’ve been chained to the crazy train for years now, so this isn’t a huge stretch for them.
Anyone remember when you could actually learn things on The Learning Channel? I barely do, because that’s how far back I have to stretch my memory. When I was a wee TV Geek Footsoldier (in training) I wanted nothing to do with TLC because it was boring. Nowadays, I want nothing to do with TLC because it makes my skin crawl.
But you get used to it, you know, the skin crawling.
Undercover Princes follows the (usually failed) exploits of Princes Remi (of Sri Lanka), Africa (of Zululand South Africa) and Mani (of West India). The three royals are stripped of their servants and housed in a pretty nice townhouse in Brighton, UK. They are given “normal” jobs in bars and diners and tasked with finding suitable spouses to take back home. This, of course, is easier said than done when you’ve spent your entire life sheltered by privilege and openly describe your ‘ideal” partner as any of the following
- Nice and blonde and pale (Mani)
- Aristocratic… the most important part. (Remi)
- And my personal favorite, “Women are not like wine. The more they age; they do not get better. Women are like milk.” (Africa)
- Now, it’s very easy to dismiss these poor hapless idiots as raging he-man woman-haters, and I’m not saying that I would consider dating any of them. Ever. But the general consensus among their failed blind dates, house parties, and club outings was that at heart, they really are friendly guys. I got that vibe myself during one particular interaction between the three princes. In prepping for a dinner party that they were hosting, Africa shows off the meal he is planning to cook for their guests and his roommates. It’s a beef dish, beef, you know, coming from cow. Remi and Mani politely explain that for cultural and religious reasons, they don’t eat cow and they won’t eat Africa’s dish. I was totally expecting some kind of Real World-esque blow up, possibly some xenophobic ranting thrown in for good measure, and I was pleasantly surprised when Africas response amounted to little more than a shrug and an “okay.” Africa made his dish. Remi and Mani made theirs. Everyone ate. Everyone was polite. Everyone was people.
- So, all ragging on their awkwardness and questionable concepts of the perfect spouse aside, when you strip away all the pomp and circumstance, titles, and exotic hometowns, what you’re left with is just three lonely guys who don’t know how to interact with potential love interests, and who clearly don’t have enough exposure to the world outside the castle walls to even begin to approach a relationship realistically.</p>
These three royals, at heart, are your standard perpetual Friend-zoners, albeit, cranked up a few decibels, and though we may giggle over their increasingly desperate attempts to find true love, if they just keep at it, pay attention and learn something along the way… they might just turn out okay in the end.