Kody works on his new relationship with Robyn while the other wives try to work through the change.
While Kody drives five hours south to go on a date with Robyn, Meri, Jannelle and Christine have to work through the emotional fallout and make room for Christine’s new baby. Now that’s it’s real, the wives are less thrilled than they could be. They have a girls’-night-out while Kody’s away, and go looking for baby clothes, eat lunch, and talk about how conflicted they are. And they aren’t saying it, but, really, they don’t have much choice in the final decision — Kody has already proposed, and they like her as a person, so it’s pretty much a done deal. Christine met her last and her first reaction was that this new woman was taking Kody away from her, and she was the one least likely to take the change well.
The new marriage really comes across a little clinically in this episode, like a business merger. The kid have to learn to function together, so every time he goes to visit her and her three kids, he takes a few of his kids with him, and they serve as a sort of free babysitting service. The wives want another wife but they aren’t happy with their balance being changed, and Kody is calm and understanding — and still insistent. This is happening and everyone needs to learn to make it work.
But this is where the main point of polygamy comes in. From the beginning of this show last week, they all kept saying that it forces you to become a better person, because giving in to jealousy and pettiness makes the whole framework fall apart, and that framework is their family. Robyn says that she’s been trying her best to be a great single mother, but she needs the backup mothering because it’s so hard and leaves her with so little time and so much stress, which is bad for the kids and bad for her. As a fourth wife, she’s happy to have the help and to be a help, and she’s willing to do whatever it takes to fit in. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but Kody knows that it’s almost impossible to avoid. The wives fear that she’s so nice and pretty that she’ll draw all the attention, but the fact that that’s the last thing she wants speaks well for her and how things can go in the future.
It’s all about how good the lifestyle makes you. Robyn looks like she’s genuinely thankful that Kody is so good, and she attributes it to how good his wives are and how they’ve helped him and forced him to be a better person, better each time than he was before he married.
Meanwhile, Christine’s sixth baby is on her way, and they have to rearrange her room because there isn’t anywhere else to put a baby. Echoes of having to build an addition, or a whole new house like the Duggars did right when their own show started? There are so many kids already, and with another on the way and three new ones soon to move in, how long can they go before they just run out off space? And how emotional will Christine get as the baby gets closer?
More thoughts on “Courting a Fourth Wife”:
* “Because the wives are comfortable with another wife in this lifestyle, they’re not comfortable with a girlfriend” – Kody
* Apparently, divorce isn’t taboo here, despite the religious component. Robyn was the only wife of someone raised, like her, in the polygamous culture, and when it didn’t work, they called it off (and she presumably got sole custody). It’s nice that there’s the option of ending it if it doesn’t work — it makes the business-like aspects of it less cold. And it’s surprising: Highly religious groups tend to not be so open minded… or at least, people tend to think they aren’t.
* There are these little moments of male entitlement scattered through the episode. These are strong, self-possessed women, but Kody is the head of the family, and this is very much a patriarchy.
* Apparently, four months is a long time for polygamists — as least their kind of polygamists — to date. How different from how we mainstream monogamists do it! Makes you wonder what the average time between meeting someone and marrying them is, doesn’t it?
This review originally appeared on TV Geek Army.