“I bought the hotel to sing.” – Cali Szczawinski
Meson De Mesilla, we’re told, is a 14-room boutique hotel outside of Las Cruces, New Mexico. Cali Szczawinski remodeled the place after purchasing it in 2006, and the first thing that Gordon Ramsay points out is that the color scheme is essentially “beige on beige on beige.”
As for the food the restaurant serves: “Cali made the menu and we only serve Tuscan food,” Ceara Angel, the chef, says. “I don’t even know if Cali has ever been to Italy.” So it looks like we’ve got an owner getting tossed under the Hotel Hell bus pretty early on in this one!
However, this is all before we get to the good stuff, which is that Cali – a one-time aspiring professional singer – insists on getting up on a tiny makeshift stage at the corner of the restaurant and singing to her customers and guests.
“I bought the hotel to sing,” Cali tells us.
We then hear Cali singing Cher’s “If I Could Turn Back Time,” in what seems to be a hilariously awful attempt to mimic Cher’s distinctive voice. But this show ain’t being played for comedy. Cali thinks everyone loves her, of course.
Zan Steinberg, the general manager, and his wife Mitzi – who also works at the hotel – corroborate that Meson De Mesilla is “deteriorating,” but Cali places the blame on Zan for how things are going these days. Zan for his part feels that Cali is a “poor operator.”
With all of this going on, in swoops Gordon Ramsay to provide his brand of tough, sometimes brutal, love in an attempt to save the day.
His first impression on the exterior of the hotel: “It looks like a prison.”
When Ramsay checks in at the front desk – Gordon staying at Hotel Hell properties seems to be part of the shtick, it seems – he’s forced to sign a weird waiver protecting the hotel against red wine stains thrown on its plaster walls, specifically.
One thing I’ll ding Ramsay for here: he says of the fireplace in the hotel room he stays in, “what do you need a fireplace in the f—ing desert for?” He admitted early in the episode that this was his first visit to the American southwest, so apparently he doesn’t know that the desert can get quite cold at night, depending on the time of year.
Ramsay on the room: “This room is so bland, it looks more like an airport hotel than a fun weekend getaway in the heart of New Mexico.” And he’s not wrong about that part. Seems like Cali has been too focused on her non-existent musical career.
When Ramsay meets Cali, we learn that beige is her favorite color, and we learn that there are multiple stages set up in the dining room, and that Cali is the only person who ever performs there. Oh, and then there’s another stage for Cali that overlooks the pool, of which Ramsay says, “It looks like a prison.”
We also learn that Cali has sunk $2.4 million into the hotel, and with only $60,000 to $70,000 left, a shutdown is looming unless they can get Meson De Mesilla to start turning a profit quick-like.
Unlike many episodes of Kitchen Nightmares, where Ramsay usually comes across as nasty and perplexed at the insanity of the operation at this stage in the episode, he takes it pretty easy on Cali at this stage, even saying that he’s sorry to learn that her financial situation is so precarious. Part of this is surely due to a teary-eyed Cali telling him, “I’m really glad you’re here.”
The next stop is general manager Zan, and Gordon quickly undercovers that while he has restaurant experience, he’s had zero hotel management experience prior to taking on the GM gig at Meson De Mesilla. The “major problem,” via Zan, is Cali herself, who is “too controlling.”
Zan’s wife, Mitzi, is Ramsay’s server at the hotel restaurant, where the subject of why a Las Cruces, New Mexico restaurant focuses on Tuscan cuisine versus southwestern dishes comes up again.
And now we finally get the Kitchen Nightmares Ramsay we’ve been waiting for. On the bruschetta he’s served – which instead of including tomatoes has olives and anchovies instead:
- “It’s like the cat shat all over my plate.”
- “It’s like vomit, that.”
So… not good, then.
Meanwhile, Mitzi corroborates that Cali is too controlling and inflexible.
And as Ramsay struggles with the awful-looking lamb, Cali gets up on the tiny stage and sings “If I Could Turn Back Time” with bad Cher imitation routine… again.
“She is not Cher… I’m sorry,” Mitzi concurs.
At one point, Ramsay refers to it as “Cali-oke,” which is pretty funny.
When Ramsay gathers the staff, Cali and Zan quickly get into a screaming and cursing match that rivals the worst that has ever been showcased on Kitchen Nightmares. Cali is a fascinating figure in that she has a placid, semi-burned out personality until she accelerates into a screaming fit when she gets riled up.
Meanwhile, it comes out during the argument that Zan had indeed been “talking behind the owner’s back” and gets fired on the spot. This has the immediate and obvious repercussion that his wife, Mitzi, also quits.
“I feel betrayed,” she says. “And if the b—- thinks I’m gonna stay, she’s nuts.”
So this small business is now down two key employees at about the halfway mark of the episode.
The next morning, Ramsay heads for the outdoor pool… and then heads back in as it’s dirty. The pool, by the way, looks a lot like the kind that you see as the common pool area in many southern California apartment complexes. That kind, that is, that typically no one ever uses for a full variety of reasons.
The lack of breakfast at the hotel (save cold coffee in a common area) is a good excuse for Ramsay to head to a local farmer’s market. Which is a good excuse for Ramsay to highlight the delicious local cuisine, such as the quesadillas made by David – who also works at Meson De Mesilla.
Next, it’s time for a gimmick! Ramsay “surprises” Cali with a group of guests, who air their complaints, ranging from the weirdo waiver about staining the walls with red wine to the dirty pool.
They even get into how terrible the Cher-centric Cali-oke is. One guy even says semi-aggressively, “I would pay you $100 to not sing.” Now that’s some solid comedy right there.
And then overall, none of the guests say they would return to Meson De Mesilla.
Later, Ramsay explains that “the guests have to be #1” to Cali in the Big Tough Love Moment, and Cali tearfully agrees that she’s ready to change.
The next day, it’s time for the reveal of the big renovation, which includes proper signage so that passersby know there’s a hotel at the location. A real breakfast buffet is what impresses even more; it looks fantastic, and it’s helmed by our guy David. Also: the Cali-oke stage has vanished.
The guest rooms look way, way more colorful and vibrant – and reminds me a bit of a great boutique B&B that my wife and I went to many times in the California desert outside of Palm Springs. And the pool is massively upgraded as well – it looks chic, modern, and quite inviting now, including hipster-style cabana slots.
Dishes from the poolside menu are brought around as well, which tie to New Mexico and the southwest now instead of Tuscan fare.
It’s a more impressive overhaul than almost all that I’ve seen over on Kitchen Nightmares.
However, just when things are looking up, Cali has a fairly dramatic freakout in which she frets about the work now involved with the changes, something having to do with the linens, and then spins out further and decides on the spot to raise prices for hotel guests.
“Cali’s Cali,” one of the staffers explains.
After Ramsay threatens to put everything back the way it was pre-renovation, she eventually calms down. This leads to the next heart-to-heart, where Ramsay explains that “every time you’re singing, you’re not running your hotel.”
A pool party is next on deck, replete with a band that does not include Cali or any Cher tunes. During the party, Ramsay introduces Cali to Jeff Maher, a local hotelier who is very experienced, with the hope that he can also provide her with valuable advice.
In the little epilogue segment, it’s all upbeat news about how well things are going in the weeks after Ramsay left. But I must note that the very last shot is of a little boy doing a flip while jumping into the pool (off the side, not off a diving board), which is a huge red flag no no for public pools in terms of safety and liability.
Hotel Hell, “Meson De Mesilla”: is it still open?
Meson De Mesilla is indeed still open as of 2025, though it is now called Hacienda De Mesilla these days. Via Yelp, it has 4.3 stars with 191 reviews, so I’d call this one of the biggest success stories I’ve come across in the Gordon Ramsay television universe thus far.
However, it appears that Cali Szczawinski is no longer the owner, and “Tom, Jerean, and their son Christopher” are running the hotel these days.
A recent review says:
STAFF: Amazing staff, very knowledgeable, polite and very friendly while keeping it professional
FOOD: Lobster tacos were delicious mashed potatoes also very tasty.
(Only tried that)
ENVIRONMENT: Excellent design and amazing decorations. Very fancy looking and great vibes!
Some stats and info about Hotel Hell, “Meson De Mesilla”
TV SHOW – Hotel Hell
SEASON/EPISODE – Season 2, Episode 1
AIRED ON – July 21st, 2014
NETWORK/STREAMING SERVICE – FOX
EPISODE DESCRIPTION – Gordon Ramsay visits Meson de Mesilla, a “luxury” Tuscan-style hotel in Las Cruces, New Mexico. Owner and child-star, Cali Szczawinski, purchased the hotel to perform Cher songs every night to a captive audience.
GENRE – Docuseries, Office Culture, Trashtastic TV
CAST – Gordon Ramsay