Jersey Shore, “Cabs Are Here!”: #4 ranked episode of Jersey Shore Season 3 – that’s not cool bro!

jersey shore - cabs are here

“Mike’s bringing up Miami? It’s like, that’s not cool bro.“ – Ron

Jersey Shore Season 3 Rankings: where did “Cabs Are Here!” rank?

Jersey Shore’s “Cabs Are Here!” is the #4 ranked episode of Jersey Shore’s third season. Find more Jersey Shore rankings here.

Here’s why “Cabs Are Here!” was ranked as the #4 episode of Jersey Shore’s third crazy season.

Jersey Shore
GENRE – Reality TV, Drama, Comedy, Trashtastic TV
EPISODE – “Cabs Are Here!”
BEING RANKED FOR – Jersey Shore Season 3
RANK – #4 of Jersey Shore’s third season

Jersey Shore, “Cabs Are Here!” (S0307) review

At some point during an ongoing fight that is the endless dysfunctional train wreck of a relationship between Ronnie and Sammi, I had a flashback to watching The Jerry Springer Show some years ago. Jerry brings out a guest, they squabble, there’s a barrage of bleeps, one of them grabs a chair, they go after each other, the production crew (kind of) steps in to break them up, and… wash, rinse, repeat.

While the specifics of Ron and Sam (Ron v. Sam) are interesting enough to watch each week in an it’s-so-insane-you-just-can’t-not-look kind of way, I’m really bored of writing about it. Check out any other Jersey Shore review I’ve done to catch up on the ugly, and simply sprinkle in details relevant to this episode such as “clothes tossed all over the house,” “bed frame tossed out on the deck,” and that kind of thing.

Let’s fast forward from there though to talk about some other things before we wrap on the anti-couple of the year. It’s great to see a little old Mike Sorrentino make an appearance every now and again. Mike of course is better known as The Situation, and he’s done a very solid job this season of flying under the drama radar and pretty much resting on the laurels of his newfound and genuine reality star fame.

However, his bunking with the ever-squabbling Ron and Sam (argh, there’s those two again, I can’t not bring them up!) eventually brings out several elements of his true nature. First and foremost, he’s a natural instigator. When Ron calls him out on for instigating drama (and, let’s face it, Ron has a vested interest and history of diverting drama from himself: see Jersey Shore, Miami Beach edition) we see a goodly dose of Mike Sorrentino, regular guy. “’all fight every second, what do you want me to do!” he cries in response.

Meanwhile, back to… oh, I can’t avoid it, you know who: at this point Sam is at Aztek (which is not Karma, you have to give the kids that) trying to make Ron jealous (which works in spades as he goes home and tears half the house apart in rageaholic fury straight out of the old arcade game Rampage). When Sam says, “I’m single, dance with me… let’s see what you got,” to the first guy she sees at the club, it really reads as dialog out of a terrible late night cable movie… except it’s all too real. Reality show real, if you dig.

The only other permutation worth reporting is that Sam, after yet another crying jag, packs her bags and takes off in a cab. Ron is astonished that it might finally be over.

Is it though? I’m hopeful that the split is final – at least through the end of this season – if only so that we can get back to a more varied regimen of Jersey Shore, finally, which we know includes healthy doses of GTL, passing out on the beach, hot tub hook ups, “smoosh room” situations, Situation situations, and other miscellaneous situations.

If it is final, we can do a little Jersey Shore math and track the departures of cast members during the show for fun and bonus points:

  • Season One (Jersey Shore): Angelina, garbage bags in hand
  • Season Two (Miami Beach): Angelina, upgraded luggage in hand
  • Season Three (Jersey Shore): Sammi, ”sweetheart”-themed luggage in hand

More thoughts on “Cabs Are Here!”:

  • Mike’s bringing up Miami? It’s like, that’s not cool bro.” – Ron
  • “Mike stabbed me in the back… he pretty much put my s— on blast.” – Ron
  • I love that “girl time” for Sam and Deena means heading to the nearest bar on the boardwalk and pounding shots… during the day.
  • “I love single Sammi.” – Deena
  • I love that Sammi, while pounding shots with Deena, thinks that she sees Ron walking down the boardwalk with a girl (it’s actually the decidedly manly figure of Pauly D) and decides to get super huffy and jealous and spiteful and weird about it. It’s such a perfect microcosm for everything that we’ve seen from this girl since the debut of the series.
  • “Y’all fight every second, what do you want me to do!” – The Situation to Ron
  • “What’s in that bag?” – Snooki. “It’s a whole bag full of condoms.” – Roger, of Roger that fame
  • What’s the ratio of how many times you hear, “You do you, I’ll do me” on Jersey Shore versus real life? That’s your homework assignment for tonight kids.
  • It’s worth noting that a rather remarkable transition has taken place wherein Sam has gone from being mortal enemies with Snooki and the girls in the house to virtual BFF status with the Snooki and Deena duo this week.
  • Line of the night goes to Pauly D, referring to the incessant Ron-Sammi feud: “I can’t concentrate… They’re talking about relationships, my sneakers are dirty!”
  • Amazing moment of the night: while Ron and Sam are having (yet another) knock down-drag out fight, The Situation casually strolls into the room to get his shades.
  • “This will be our first night out as all single ladies!” – Deena
  • “We’re all just trying to recuperate.” – Vinnie
  • “I’m going to Aztek tonight for one reason: get Ron back.” – Sam
  • “Wow. That’s a situation.” – The Situation on the Ron and Sam situation
  • “Am I supposed to be stressed out over someone else’s relationship? It’s not right.” – Pauly D
  • “He had camel toe going on with his penis and everything.” – Deena, on a Seaside Heights bar and grill waiter

Jersey Shore, “Cabs Are Here!”: episode and cast info

Air date – February 10, 2011


Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio – Self
Jenni “JWoww” Farley – Self
Sammi “Sweetheart” – Self
Vinny Guagagino (later known as “Keto Guido”) – Self
Ronnie Margo – Self (as Ronnie Ortiz-Margo)
Angelina Pivarnick – Self
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi – Self
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino (later known as “Big Daddy Sitch” – Self