Can Patti turn two different players into lovers?
Patti’s got her hands full on this edition of The Millionaire Matchmaker, with two bachelors that think they have game but are really suffering some major personal fouls.
Check out our full and snark-tastic Millionaire Matchmaker episode guide and updates! Trash and treasure in equal increments, we promise.
Former NFL player and ESPN interviewer Marcellus Wiley reaches out to Patti to help him figure out how to meet a woman that will fulfill his high standards. Ready for a family and seeking a woman that’s going to challenge him, Marcellus needs help to look in the right places.
Funny and charming at their first meeting, Wiley comes off like a catch, but as soon as Stanger spends some time with the never-married bachelor, she quickly figures out that he’s an interviewer. She assesses that when he meets a new lady, he starts with the 20 questions which then puts him in a domineering position that can be off-putting. Patti explains he needs to have a back and forth with a woman and come more from his heart than his head. To his credit, Wiley hears what Patti’s saying and agrees to follow her game plan.
Bachelor number two is 58-year-old Michael Leslie, an entrepreneur, musician, and former Chippendales promoter that’s also never been married. Michael’s problem is that he likes his ladies young – like 30 years his junior young – which gives Patti a case of the creepers. She also gets the shudders just looking at his copious pieces of man-ery, or dude jewelry.
At their meeting, Michael is star-struck over Patti but she pulls no punches by immediately labeling him an ageist that’s dating way too young. Smirking, Leslie disagrees but Patti is adamant that she won’t fix him up with a young girl and that to be in her club, he’s got to date age appropriate. Michael says he dates young because he wants kids, but Patti isn’t buying it, so he defers to her rules and plays along.
The MM staff goes through the requisite mixer casting call and finds an acceptable selection of forty-somethings for Michael and smart ladies for Marcellus. At the mixer venue, Patti introduces her two clients to one another and in no time Marcellus has already pegged Michael’s issues with much hilarity.
Out on the floor, the ladies swarm their bachelor targets. Immediately, Michael gets disappointed face when he sees that his pond is filled with mature fish. Patti raises an eyebrow and he gets it together by flirting and being charming with the attentive women. Meanwhile, Marcellus starts testing his potential dates with sports trivia and Stanger goes in to shut him down. She angrily whispers to him that the ladies don’t give an F about his work and he’s not letting the women breathe. Repentant, Marcellus backs off and works the women much more smoothly than before.
For the mini-dates, Marcellus selects brainy and sassy industrial engineer Monique and former stuntwoman Maria. Michael goes with pretty Rolana and European dog-lover Aggie. Marcellus finds sparks with Monique and Michael seems a bit dazzled by Rolana, who also has a dog that she pampers.
For his date with Monique, Marcellus takes her to play tennis – a first for them both. Neither are very good but they flirt and chase the ball with good humor (and more sweat than Monique would have liked). Marcellus loses, but he gets a peck on the lips for his efforts. His reaction to the camera is like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’s, “She thinks I’m cute!” moment.
After tennis, he takes her to dinner and she turns the questions on him, asking him about family, friends and more. He attempts to ask about her past but she shuts him down, saying they should talk about exes on the first date. Marcellus likes her spunk and the way she infers that “you better get to know me.” Both of them seem to really like one another more by the end of the dinner.
Meanwhile up in Temecula, Michael meets Rolana for a hot air balloon ride. She looks scared to death, but she climbs inside and attaches one hand to the basket and the other to Michael’s arm. Smooth move, Mikey! He calms her down by asking what houses she likes down below and they kind of house hunt, which she thinks is sweet. By the time they land, Michael earns a big hug and he says that she feels like home to him.
Then the pair goes to a winery for dinner, where Michael hires a string quartet to play for them. As they eat and chat, they discover how much they both love their dogs and how they are both looking to get pals for their lonely pooches. Could it be fate? Michael is thrilled they have so much in common and he decides to gift her a CD of his greatest hits, and then dedicates one to her and proceeds to sing it live at the piano. She gets overwhelmed and cries – we’re hoping due to the sentiment and not from the cheese ball nature of the song; might be too close to call. He then gets up and lays a big ‘ole kiss on her which she seems okay with, and he admits he’s a super smitten kitten for her.
Back at the office, Patti checks in with the ladies. Monique says she had a good time and wants to see Marcellus again for dinner. When he arrives, he corroborates the intentions and Patti gives him a hug for doing so well. The title card then reveals the two have dated more.
As for Michael, he literally arrives and bows to Patti for her wisdom. Patti gives him the stink eye and says she doesn’t think he’s got it in him to stay attached to an age appropriate woman. He says Rolana is perfect. However, Patti knows her ageists and how hard it is for them to change, so it’s no surprise that it turns out Michael only lasted one more date with fair Rolana. Me thinks she and her pooch got off lucky.
Some stats and info about The Millionaire Matchmaker – “The Player and the Piano Player”
TV SHOW – The Millionaire Matchmaker
SEASON/EPISODE – Season 5, Episode 12
NETWORK/STREAMING SERVICE – Bravo
GENRE – Reality TV, Dating Shows, Trashtastic TV
STARS – Patti Stanger, Destin Pfaff, Rachel Federoff, Michael Leslie, Marcellus Wiley
This review was originally published on TV Geek Army.