“Like the penis raises, and they go ‘yes’! The penis goes down, and they go, ‘no.’” – Patti
The modern man is impatient, critical, and doesn’t have a lot of time on his hands, Patti Stanger explains to us in this edition of The Millionaire Matchmaker.
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“Men want to play play play today, like it’s Peter Pan, and as long as you have Hugh Hefner and Jack Nicholson as their poster boys, you know, they think they’re immortal,” she goes on to explain.
I’d venture to say that Patti is likely correct… with regard to the tiny segment of dudes she interacts with in Los Angeles who are wealthy enough to seek out her services, and have the kinds of traits and behaviors that cause them to believe they need the services of The Millionaire’s (it’s singular… it’s a whole thing) Club.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Peter/Tai/German”: Patti meets the clients
Patti drives over to meet Peter, who is a “new Malibu millionaire that reached out to us,” looking for his soul mate.
We learn that Peter is originally from New York as we see him doing some very avantgarde version of tai chi, perhaps, as didgeridoo sounds accompany the scene. He’s an industrial designer and marketing guy, putting him in a somewhat unusual category by Millionaire Matchmaker standards. And, oh, he also sells martial art videotapes. One is called Qi Gong, Visions of… something or other.
Qi Gong is “more of a series of circular movements,” Peter explains to Patti, the latter of whom shows up while Peter is getting his series of circular movements moving.
Peter is very spiritual, he tells Patti. “There’s no barrier between man and god,” he says. He’s also an Aquarius.
Peter is looking for an intelligent woman because he reads a lot and “studies very much.” And he’s “not into perfume and all that stuff.”
Patti for once is completely smitten and can’t find any flaw to pick out with this one. And the cherry on top is that Peter insists on dating women over 30, and also has a “no actresses” rule.
“Finally, a real man looking for a real woman,” Patti says.
Back at the office, we’re introduced to a pair of Millionaire’s Club clients in another unusual twist: German, from Argentina, and Tai, who is… not Argentinian apparently. They are best friends from North Carolina who moved out to LA, and are now looking for love in all the… well, they’re looking for Patti’s help in that department.
“They like to do things together,” we’re told.
Tai tells us that he’s 31 and made his millions from working on “finance online.” German meanwhile is into real estate and also has a neurobiology degree.
Patti meets up with the fellows at their pad in West Hollywood, and both assure her that they’re ready for serious relationships and aren’t just looking for one-night stands.
Patti assesses that Tai and German have a classic case of “wingman syndrome,” which infers that the two are overly reliant on one another when attempting to meet the ladies.
Side note that this edition of The Millionaire Matchmaker contains more filler segments than the usual, including Patti’s parents heading to LA to visit her (her mom, a fellow matchmaker of sorts, makes Patti “nervous”) as well as Patti and her staffers, Chelsea and Alison, taking a Qui Gong class with Peter leading the session (Patti wasn’t into it, didn’t find it relaxing).
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Peter/Tai/German”: the recruiting session & mixer
In another unusual departure, we don’t get to witness the recruiting session in this episode and cut right to the mixer, which takes place on a lovely looking yacht somewhere on the southern California coast.
Tai and German – who are spruced up after a session with Sam Samboura, Style Expert – peer inside the main area where the ladies are waiting and one jokes, “It looks like a sorority.”
Patti shows up with her parents, Mel and Rhoda – amazing parent names, by the way – and then introduces her millionaires to the women. Patti pronounces German as Her-Mine, which is kind of interesting.
Patti’s first move at the mixer is to immediately split up German and Tai to make the two little bachelor birdies fly on their own, as it were. Patti seems genuinely happy with the interactions at the mixer, and even praises Alison, Chelsea, and Destin for the women that they found. And meanwhile she talks about how she “monitors body language” to see if eyes are dilating and breathing gets heavy, indicators that romance is in the air. Or something.
Meanwhile, Patti counsels her parents, who are observing the action, about the modern matchmaking scene: “Men go like this,” she gestures, lifting up her hand. “Like the penis raises, and they go ‘yes’! The penis goes down, and they go, ‘no.’”
After all of Patti’s complaining about how Tai and German are inseparable from one another, she inexplicably allows them to attend their “mini-date” sessions side-by-side. German tells Chloe, a French law student, and Carolyn, who hails from North Carolina, that both he and Tai are “master dancers.”
The boys end up selecting C.J. and Erin, both professional dancers to go out on “master dates” with, in part because the two get along with each other so that will aid their plans for future double dates.
And meanwhile Peter chooses Cynthia, an actress/model (thus breaking his one rule that he didn’t want to date any actresses), who hails from San Antonio (“home of the Spurs, woo hoo!”). Patti is no longer smitten.
“This is brain center down here, ding dong, for the guys,” Patti says, pointing downstairs, if you can dig. She wants Peter to learn the lesson that she’s going down the “wrong path.”
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Peter/Tai/German”: German/C.J. and Tai/Erin’s first date
As the ladies arrive at the boys’ place ahead of their date, something happened that made me utter, “Oh my god!” aloud.
First of all, the entire set-up is very strange. Why are the girls arriving at the guys’ house? Why is it a double date? But that’s just for starters. We find the boys getting dressed, and they are putting on very similar (the same?) outfits. Each is wearing a velvet jacket with nothing underneath, revealing an enormous belt buckle sitting atop their respective jeans.
But here’s the weirdest part. As the ladies arrive, the boys appear at the window in this state of undress and start dancing and cavorting as though they were go go dancers of some sort.
Ah, but it seems it was a “practical joke” that the boys were playing: this was not to be the “real” outfits they intended to wear. The girls differed on how “hilarious” the joke was.
On the agenda is a double date (of course) to go dancing at a spot called Honey. Considering that both Erin and C.J. are professional dancers, the boys held up their end well and everyone seemed to have a good time.
Talking to the camera, German added that he “loves girls in dances,” so that’s also good to know.
The gang seems to have fun at dinner, but Erin – who seems pretty perceptive – muses to the camera of what it would be like to separate the fellows and see what happens when each doesn’t have a “security blanket” around. She also uses the term “boy couple,” which is pretty funny.
Then things got a little weirder when Tai got a little too “touchy feely” for Erin’s liking, and once again she likened her date’s actions as wanting to “keep up” with his best bud German.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Peter/Tai/German”: Peter and Cynthia’s first date
Peter takes Cynthia out for a horsey ride for their big date.
As they’re riding, Peter asks how she’s doing, and Cynthia replied that she’d rather be “drinking and partying.” So party on, there.
Then Peter talked about how he “fed 20,000 families last year” and discussed the plight of hungry families in the U.S. Cynthia responded, “Oh cool! I’m trying to cut back on carbs.”
“You can always be a little thinner and a little richer,” she added, giggling.
This right here is why we love The Millionaire Matchmaker, people.
At dinner – at a lovely looking restaurant on the beach – the differences between the two became even more apparent, with Peter taking pleasure in his plate of vegetables and pre-meal meditation (yes, I’m not exaggerating there) while Cynthia looked on, smirking and sipping her wine.
“I just don’t know if the chemistry is there,” Cynthia tells the camera.
And meanwhile we cut to the two repeating “I don’t know, what else?” to each other in a very non-flirty, non-ironical way.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Peter/Tai/German”: the post-dates upshot
Peter stops by The Millionaire’s Club and immediately tells Patti that Cynthia is too young for him and “not, you know, my mate material.” Since Peter came clean right away, Patti went easy on him after doing one of her patented penis analogies. Peter claims that he wants an easy-going woman with some depth, and Patti agrees to comply to his wishes the next time around.
Patti then calls Erin, who relays the whole shirtless prank thing at the start of the date. She also calls out Tai for being too touchy. The boys, German and Tai, then head down to the office.
The fellows maintain how “hilarious” the shirtless bit was, and at that point Patti throws down that Erin doesn’t want to date Tai again. Patti then says the boys need to cut the cord and date separately from one another.
German does get the go ahead on date number two from C.J., however (somehow?).
The end of episode credits sequence then reveals: “Cynthia never called Peter. Peter continues his search for a woman that thinks Nirvana is a state of being… not a rock band.” And: “German and C.J. continued dating… without Tai. Tai is still looking for the right girl.”
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Peter/Tai/German”: where are they now?
The only participant of this edition of The Millionaire Matchmaker that I could dig up info on is Tai Lopez who claims, by way of his Twitter/X profile bio, to have “1.4 Billion YouTube views. 545,000 paid students.”
What are these students buying? If this article from MoneyMade is to be believed… well, I’ll just quote the title of the article and the sub-head, which will give you a flavor: “How A Viral Youtube Ad Made Tai Lopez’s Net Worth $60M…. Tai Lopez made $60M by selling his knowledge as a ’67 step’ program for getting rich. Here’s how he went from living with the Amish to riding Lambos in the Hollywood Hills.”
You’re only 67 steps away from Lambos in the Hills, people, what are you doing wasting your time reading this?
Some stats and info about The Millionaire Matchmaker – “Peter/Tai/German”
TV SHOW – The Millionaire Matchmaker
SEASON/EPISODE – Season 1, Episode 4
NETWORK/STREAMING SERVICE – Bravo
AIR DATE – February 12th, 2008
GENRE – Reality TV, Dating Shows, Trashtastic TV
STARS – Patti Stanger, Destin Pfaff, Rachel Federoff, Tai Lopez
IMDB DESCRIPTION – Patti tries to find love for Peter, a businessman who has made his fortune in manufacturing and selling how-to meditation tapes. Tai and German are business partners and friends who have just purchased a sprawling home in Malibu and need Patti to help them venture out on their own in the dating department.