“Where’s the farm, where’s the cow you’re milking?” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Dr. Emil Chynn & Daniel Passov: client intros
We kick off with Patti Stanger’s underling/assistant David introducing Dr. Emil Chynn, 47, an eye surgeon who, we’re told, appeared on The Howard Stern Show with a gambit to offer up a $100,000 Ferrari to “the person who could get him a wife.”
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“Ugh,” Patti says… even though her entire job and raison d’êtreis to cash checks from wealthy clients in exchange for finding them future spouses. So anyway…
Dr. Chynn is looking for a super skinny young lady with a degree from an elite university, and specifies Harvard, Dartmouth, and Columbia as ideal.
“He’s looking for like a robot wife,” is how underling/assistant Marissa puts it.
Patti says he knows this kind of guy, and he’s the type who “couldn’t get a girl wet if she was sitting in the freaking hot tub.”
The funniest part here is when we see a picture of Dr. Chynn, a smiling and bespectacled middle aged Asian man, sitting outdoors with a Corgi on his lap.
Speaking of funny, Dr. Chynn seems to fashion himself as something of a comedian. In his intro video, he quips that he has dated models in the past, and he believes that “the gene for beauty is close to the gene for crazy.”
Rim shot!
He also reiterates that he’s looking for a young, skinny blonde and that at 47 he’s ready to start a family.
Marissa then introduces Daniel Passov, 32, the CEO of a “fraternity and sorority clothing company” from San Diego. The vibes are different with this one versus the good doctor, and immediately Marissa laments that Patti can’t set her up with him.
Daniel’s parents have been married for 44 years, and he’s looking for a Jewish “girly girl” to replicate their successful relationship.
Patti’s diagnosis with Daniel is that he’s too good to be true compared to her typical clientele, so she needs to figure out what’s going on, as in theory he should have zero trouble attracting the type of woman he’s seeking out.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Dr. Emil Chynn & Daniel Passov: Patti meets the clients
While Patti is on the way to meet Emil, we learn that he graduated from Harvard and then specialized in ophthalmology. We also see that he has a medical practice on Park Avenue in Manhattan, which seems pretty ritzy.
Dr. Chynn feels that he “sacrificed” his youth for his career and his patients, but he’s ready now to settle down. He’s looking for a partner who is loyal, has good values, and then emphasizes again that she must be a “college graduate,” which weirdly tilts his pitch into sounding like this is a job interview instead of a search for romance and a relationship.
He also says that he desires having kids before “he’s too old to play with them,” which kind of feels like the real reason to me that he’s looking for a wife now (and not just a wife, but one with “smart genes” or pedigree or whatever).
Patti tells Dr. Chynn that he needs to stop being so “analyzing” when it comes to dating and presses him to bring his A Game to the mixer.
Daniel then stops by the Millionaire’s Club office, and we learn that he started on the path to entrepreneurship early in life and eventually got involved with a bar called Kamikaze 7 in downtown San Diego. But not he’s focused on finding a wife and “storybook love.”
Patti pushes Daniel to talk about why past relationships haven’t worked out, and he relates that his expectations have been set too high.
“Love grows, it takes time,” she tells him. She also calls him Mr. Moonstruck, relating to her feeling that his past desire to have cinematic love crash into his life, replete with fireworks and music (or something).
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Dr. Emil Chynn & Daniel Passov: the recruiting session and mixer
Highlights from the recruiting session include:
- My overall takeaway about the women being screened for Dr. Chynn is that they are all way too young for him and found myself wishing they would all run not walk away from the Millionaire’s Club.
- One woman named Ariel is asked by Patti: “Where’s the farm, where’s the cow you’re milking?” And she’s also called an elf. And: “No one is going to want to f— an elf.” However, she’s granted entrance to the mixer on the condition that, “I want to see boobs.”
The mixer takes place at a lounge called Tru. The “comedian” in Dr. Chynn comes out quickly when, after he learns that two women he’s chatting with are from Texas, he says, “If someone doesn’t like you in Texas, they shoot you.” This is followed by a wild tittering laugh.
When he’s not joking around, Patti complains that Dr. Chynn acts like he’s in “the most job interview ever,” and she’s not wrong.
Daniel meanwhile mingled with the ladies he chats with, and jokes around about the ones who “slide in” that they are Jewish and discusses topics like travel and cooking.
For the mini-date round, Dr. Chynn selects Dani, a video game host (sounds like she has a channel on Twitch or the like) and former computer science teacher in China, and Stephanie, an Australian psychologist who has traveled to 30 different countries. And then Daniel picks elf/cow milker Ariel (who is an office manager), and Danielle, a retail buyer who was born with two colons.
Daniel and Danielle bond over their backgrounds and love for matzoh ball soup, while Dr. Chynn asks interview-ish questions of his mini-dates like, “Is it a problem that I’m a member of Mensa?” I also noticed that Dr. Chynn consistently talked over his mini-date companions.
In the end. Dr. Chynn chooses Stephanie because she’s “cosmopolitan and well-traveled.” It’s the “right choice” of the two as Dani is clearly way too young for him, but as Stephanie seems lovely I found myself hoping that she’s able to slip out of Dr. Chynn’s lame, self-centered grasp. And meanwhile Daniel opts for Ariel.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Dr. Emil Chynn & Daniel Passov: Daniel and Ariel’s first date
Daniel takes Ariel to Opus Oils’ Jitterbug Perfume Parlour, which sounds like it should be a store in Diagon Alley in Harry Potter’s universe, but in reality is a spot where the couple take a lesson in making perfumes from “master perfumer” Kedra Hart.
It’s actually a pretty good idea for a date as it allows the couple to get physically close to one another to smell the various scents on one another. Ariel thinks the idea is really sweet and is excited to spend more time with him.
Dinner is then at a restaurant called Pour Vouz (get it?). “You smell delicious,” Daniels tells Ariel, and you can tell things are going smashingly because she laughs happily at that.
The conversation is fun first date banter: dream jobs and joking around that also dovetails into some more serious topics. Daniel loves that Ariel’s parents have been together for decades as his also have, for example.
Things go well enough that they naturally set up a follow up date to go see a Lakers game, and there’s even a very nice little kiss going on by the end.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Dr. Emil Chynn & Daniel Passov: Dr. Chynn and Stephanie’s first date
Dr. Chynn takes Stephanie to Il Cielo in Beverly Hills, which he says is “considered one of the most romantic restaurants in Los Angeles.”
The place is decked out with rose pedals everywhere. And I mean everywhere, like ankle high in a huge area around the couple’s table. Also, there are like three-foot high candles and all kinds of other romantic paraphernalia wall to wall going on there.
Stephanie looks turned off quickly, and rightfully so, when the good doc quickly probes her on how soon she would want to have kids. She politely tells him that while she’s interested in having kids one day, it’s not really a great first date topic. But Dr. Chynn ain’t having that: he goes all in with, “One to two years? Five to ten years?”
“I honestly feel like it’s more an interview,” she tells him, as the red rose petals all around them might as well be flashing red flags for Stephanie at this point.
Dr. Chynn has zero self-awareness though, telling the camera that “he’s from New York” so therefore “tells it like it is.” Way to end up rolling solo with that, my guy, is what this native New Yorker writing this recap is thinking during this scene.
“I was completely shocked, I was blown away,” Stephanie tells the camera. She means this in the bad way, not the he swept me off my feet way.
Dinner culminates with more super romantic chocolate-covered cherries and even more tonnage of rose pedals in a different part of the restaurant, which are seemingly wildly inappropriate at this point. But Stephanie handles her end of the interview-style questions like a champ, and I wound up having quite a lot of admiration for her poise throughout.
With regard to the opulent romantic scene, Stephanie says it “couldn’t have been more perfect” for romance, but “I wasn’t feeling any of that.”
Even Dr. Chynn admits at the end that while he enjoyed getting to know her, they “just have different goals.”
So I guess he’s not completely clueless, it seems.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Dr. Emil Chynn & Daniel Passov: post-dates upshot
Patti and Marissa call up Ariel first, who says it went “really well.” In the office, Daniel agrees that it went well, and that the Lakers date already went down. Daniel says that he’s “trying to take it slow,” and they are working through his being in San Diego while she lives in LA.
David and Patti then call Stephanie, who gives them the full rundown. “I need kids, I need romance now,” is her take on how Dr. Chynn approached his date with her. Via video chat, Dr. Chynn’s takeaway was that that Stephanie didn’t want to have kids soon, which is pretty hilarious, but in the way that Comedian Dr. Chynn would like.
Patti flat out tells the doc that he was being “lame and pathetic,” and eventually Emil admits that he could make improvements to his approach the next time around.
The end of episode captions then tell us: “Dr. Chynn and Stephanie have not spoken since their date. Dr. Chynn is back in New York City with his dog ‘Rhett.’” And: “Daniel continues to take it slow and not fall for the ‘fairy tale.’ So far, so good… He and Ariel have been seeing each other regularly.”
Some stats and info about The Millionaire Matchmaker – “The Technical Brain and Moonstruck”
TV SHOW – The Millionaire Matchmaker
SEASON/EPISODE – Season 7, Episode 12
NETWORK/STREAMING SERVICE – Bravo
AIR DATE – March 6th, 2014
GENRE – Reality TV, Dating Shows, Trashtastic TV
STARS – Patti Stanger, Dr. Emil Chynn, Daniel Passov
GOOGLE PLAY DESCRIPTION – Dr. Chynn is a 47-year-old eye surgeon from Manhattan who holds degrees from Harvard and Columbia, among others. Patti decrees he is so “technical-minded” that he doesn’t know how to romance a girl. Can Patti cure Dr. Chynn of his “analysis paralysis” and help him to sweep a girl off her feet? Patti’s second millionaire is Daniel Passov, the owner and operator of a national T-shirt company in San Diego. Daniel is tall, handsome, and polite, but has yet to find a soulmate. Patti finds Daniel has been waiting to get “moonstruck” by the perfect woman, whom he hopes will magically fall into his lap. Will Patti be able to make Daniel realize that finding a lasting relationship requires hard work and not just wishful thinking?