“Dinner is over… you are a jerk.” – Ariane
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Justin Ross Lee & Michael Sartain: client intros
Over at the Millionaire’s Club, Patti Stanger’s underling assistant Marisa introduces Justin Ross Lee who, we’re told, “sells pocket squares all over America.”
Also: “He’s huge in Sweden.”
We then see a very slick-looking Justin introduce himself in his intro video as “JRL,” and clarifies that his company is called Pretentious Pocket. We then see him lounging on a private jet (or a set that looks like a private jet, who’s to say for sure these days?) with a martini, wearing a Miami Vice-esque outfit (replete with pocket square, of course), and it sinks in that “pretentious” is the keyword here for everyone playing at home.
Patti lets us know that Justin lost a bunch of money at some point but then crossed back into Millionaire’s Club range when he inherited a boatload of money from his parents.
“My entire life, I’ve been the boss,” Justin goes on, which immediately made me think of this:
Moving on to Justin’s, uh, manhood, he literally calls himself a “delicacy,” and declares that the ladies have never seen a “[REDACTED] like mine” (use your imaginations, people).
Justin goes on to declare that he’s “conquered” New York and now is in Los Angeles to dominate all the ladies of the land.
In other words, this guy is completely preposterous and ridiculous, and it speaks to the very essence of why we love The Millionaire Matchmaker.
Then we have Michael Sartain, 36, who underling assistant Justin describes as running “the biggest promotional company in Las Vegas.”
In his intro video, Michael tells us that he’s originally from Dallas and was in the military for seven years before settling down in Las Vegas. He likes to party but doesn’t drink, and is into reading books.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Justin Ross Lee & Michael Sartain: Patti meets the clients
Patti meets Justin first at Sapori, an Italian restaurant in Marina Del Rey, and the first thing she asks him to do is to take off his sunglasses so that she can see his eyes.
This of course immediately reminds me of Tony Soprano sitting down with Jackie Aprile, Jr., clinking his plate with his fork to get his attention so that he can try to convince him that he didn’t whack his uncle, Richie.
Which is of course true, but… oh, sorry back to Patti meeting with this gagootz Justin Ross Lee.
As the 30-year-old tells us more about himself, it makes a lot of sense that this is a guy who has inherited wealth and is deeply and fundamentally insecure about it.
Patti asks Justin when he was last in a relationship and he “quips” that “I was in a relationship just last night.” This of course should automatically remind us of Goodfellas (a.k.a. the greatest movie of all time), when Tommy (Joe Pesci) tells his mother that “ I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I’m free the next morning.”
But then again, Tommy DeVito is a sociopath and a murderer, so there’s that.
Anyway, it’s fun to watch Patti cut Justin off to tell him he’s a narcissist, and that “there’s no room for anybody else.”
Thankfully, Patti eventually moves on to meet Michael, who tells us that he runs an events company called Viva Vegas TV. For a “Vegas guy” and a client of The Millionaire’s Club, Michael does seem to be unusual in that he tells us that in his spare time he takes online courses from Stanford and Harvard, and “I am madly in love with astrophysics, astronomy, particle physics, stuff like that.”
Michael tells Patti he’s pretty open to different kinds of women and loves basketball and snowboarding.
Patti wants to find a smart lady for Michael, but advises her client to show off his smarts with women not by talking “at” them but by engaging in a conversation that they can both participate in.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Justin Ross Lee & Michael Sartain: the recruiting session and mixer
Highlights of the recruiting session include:
- Patti tells a panel of three women that they are not right for her clients and will bring them back another time. After they leave the room, however, she says, “I’m not gonna f— with ugly.” I’m sure those women just absolutely love their moment of fame, televised on Bravo and streaming services everywhere.
- In trying to talk women into being potentials for “pretentious douchebag” Justin, Patti questions women with questions like, “Can you handle crazy?”
- And then for Michael, it’s kind of funny seeing Patti latch onto any serious pursuit or interest as “nerdy” and therefore right for him: accounting, business owner, nursing major? Nerdy, nerdy, nerdy, perfect!
It’s a disco themed mixer, one that once again takes place in The Millionaire’s Club office. I’ve been tracking this all season people, and it really seems that The Millionaire Matchmaker is cutting budget as it nears the end of Season 7.
While Michael gets into the spirit of the theme with a wild wig and swinging disco outfit, Justin shows up in his typical super rich bro suit and sunglasses combo. He and Patti then immediately get into it over his also goading her with a plastic plant that he brought with him (he failed a dumb assignment that she gave him about getting something “to take care of,” which was immediately destined for dismal failure”).
It dawns on me here that Justin acts so outrageously lame, smarmy, and taciturn that he might be a completely staged/scripted client this week. If he is acting “real” – within this reality television construct, that is – he is absolutely the pretentious douchebag that Patti says he is.
Patti’s actually pretty astute in assessing during the mixer – where our guy JRL is acting as ludicrously douchey as ever – that “he acts like he thinks rich people should act.”
Meanwhile, Michael’s banter with the ladies could not be more different as he engages in chatter about his love for literature and mathematics.
For the mini-date round, Justin’s selections are both models, Alexandra and Ariane (who has been in Playboy, we learn). Meanwhile, Michale picks Andrea, a swimsuit designer who studied psychology, and Cynthia, an accountant who also is into basketball.
Lowlights of Justin’s mini-date experience include him talking about Ariane’s cleavage and then soon having her chastise him for talking over her throughout their brief conversation.
For the “master dates,” Michel chooses Andrea while Justin opts for Ariane.
Let’s just say one choice makes sense, while the other one totally doesn’t. Thankfully, Ariane seems very self-assured, or I would be frightened for her.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Justin Ross Lee & Michael Sartain: Michael and Andrea’s first date
Michael has Andrea meet him at a place called Flightdeck Air Combat Center, where they will get to take part in flight simulations. It’s actually a real military facility that Michael has a connection to because he’s a veteran.
It’s kind of a mix of odd and sweet that Michael has a string quartet playing for them outside of the flight simulation stations.
The flight simulation involves dog fighting, making the 12-year-old and Top Gun fan inside of me quite jealous I must admit. Most importantly, Andrea seemed to really enjoy herself, and the two high five and hug after the flight session.
Dinner is at a place called The Cellar, which Michael has rented out for the two of them. He also tells the camera that it’s the spot where Richard Burton proposed to Elizabeth Taylor. That’s kind of interesting, but he did not manage that the famous couple married and divorced twice over a 13-year span, forever.
Michael asks Andrea about her swimwear business and her Salvadorian and Spanish background.
When Michael starts telling her about how Monaco is a protectorate of Spain, Andrea playfully tells him that “you’re like an encyclopedia.”
“I know,” he replies. “I’m like Cliff Clavin.”
The date ends on a romantic note, though Andrea receives Michael’s advance for a kiss with only a peck on the cheek in return.
She tells the camera that her mother taught her to never kiss on the first date, and that she really likes Michael.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Justin Ross Lee & Michael Sartain: Justin and Ariane’s first date
Justin has Ariane join him on a private yacht at the marina. Things start off well enough, but after they pop a bottle of champagne and Justin starts going on bragging about his travels, she covers his mouth with her hand says, “Stop talking. You’re much more handsome when you’re quiet.”
Impressive – I award a point for Ariane here.
This seems to break through Justin’s lame shtick, at least for a little bit, and he acts more normal while they enjoy a drink and take in a spectacular view from the bow.
Dinner takes place on the boat, and it’s hilarious when Ariane calls Justin out for shouting for the gruson to serve them.
Just when it seemed that maybe things could go okay for our guy, he brings up that he did a background check on her and found out that she lied about his age. When he says he discovered that she’s 42-years-old and not 30, you can nearly see steam coming out of Ariane’s ears.
“I don’t need to explain anything to you,” she tells him. And then: “Dinner is over… you are a jerk.”
She then reveals to the camera that she’s actually 35, and that “everyone in this town lies about their age by five years.”
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Justin Ross Lee & Michael Sartain: post-dates upshot
Justin and Patti call Andrea first, and gush over her report that she and Michael did flight simulations. Patti is disappointed that she didn’t kiss, him at the end but is encouraged that the date went well.
In the office, Michael relayed that she and Andrea have “endless things to talk about.” They’ve actually gone out a few more times already, and it’s going well.
Patti and Marisa then call Ariane. She lays it out like this: “I kind of knew he would be an asshole, but I didn’t really know he would be that much of an asshole.”
“Go get the motherf—er,” Patti says to Marisa.
Patti confirms that Ariane is 35, and then ramps quickly up to yelling at Justin, “You’re so full of s—!” Things escalate from there, and then he throws his pocket square at her, which is as stupid as it is funny.
“Get the f— out!” Patti tells him, which is weirdly comforting as we haven’t had one of these Millionaire Matchmaker endings in quite some time, it seems.
The end of episode captions then tell us: “Ariane and Justin have not seen each other since. Justin has returned to New York and found his perfect match… the mirror.” And: “Michael has flown to Los Angeles several times to visit Andrea. He is helping her plan a swimsuit fashion show in Las Vegas.”
Some stats and info about The Millionaire Matchmaker – Justin Ross Lee & Michael Sartain (“The Narcissist Meets The Inner Geek”)
TV SHOW – The Millionaire Matchmaker
SEASON/EPISODE – Season 7, Episode 17
NETWORK/STREAMING SERVICE – Bravo
AIR DATE – April 10th, 2014
GENRE – Reality TV, Dating Shows, Trashtastic TV
STARS – Patti Stanger, Justin Ross Lee, Michael Sartain
GOOGLE PLAY DESCRIPTION – Thirty-year-old infamous New York socialite Justin Ross Lee owns a line of fancy suit pocket squares called “Pretentious Pockets.” Justin, or JRL as he likes to be called, has also become a minor internet celebrity for being a narcissistic troublemaker. So why is he coming to Patti? Justin SAYS he wants to meet his own Kate Upton to join him in his life of travel and adventures. Can Patti get Justin to stop his egotistical antics long enough to start a relationship? Patti’s second millionaire is thirty five-year-old Michael Sartain, a former Captain in the Air Force and now owns a PR firm in Las Vegas. Even though Michael comes across as “Captain Vegas” by working PR for night clubs, he’s really a just a geek at heart who loves astronomy and reading. Will Patti get Michael to lout out his “inner geek” so he can find his true soul mate?
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