“I’m sorry, they’re not getting boners here.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Stephanie Pratt, Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag, Kari Whitman”: Patti meets the clients
Stephanie Pratt, 28, from Pacific Palisades, tells us that her life is “better than it’s ever been except I don’t have someone to share it with.”
Check out our full and snark-tastic Millionaire Matchmaker episode guide and updates! Trash and treasure in equal increments, we promise.
She adds that being in the public eye makes it harder to date.
I had no idea who Pratt is so I looked at her IMDB profile and realized that she’s probably best known from being on The Hills from 2007-2010. More recently, she appeared in 64 episodes of a show called Made in Chelsea.
As Stephanie is interviewed in the opening segment, her brother Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag (also of The Hills fame) hover nearby encouragingly.
Back at the office, Patti Stanger tells her team, “I love when the brothers and sisters fix up the sister,” as though this is something that she sees happen all the time.
Stephanie meanwhile tells us that her longest relationship has only lasted for six months, and that she has traditionally been attracted to the “bad boys.”
She also finds her brother Spencer and Heidi – who have been married for six years – to be “the freaking cutest couple, I love hanging out with them.”
Patti asks Stephanie whether she’s interested in “looks or money,” which crystalizes how vapid Patti Stanger’s worldview is. My thought bubble when she said this was, “That’s a garbage question.”
“Looks is sex, money is security,” Patti adds.
Next up we have Kari Whitman, 45, from Beverly Hills, California.
“I’m looking for real, honest, easy-going love,” Kari tells the camera. She also feels that many men are intimidated by her personality and wealth.
Patti doubles down on her worst qualities by commenting that “honey, time’s a ticking,” with relation to the challenge of women over 40 trying to find a man “in this town.”
We learn that Kari is an interior designer for celebrities such as Kristen Bell and Emilio Estevez. She feels that she’s learned from her mistakes, which caused her to be in “bad situations” with guys when she was younger. She’s also been engaged four times, including an 11-year relationship with a pro hockey player.
Also: Don Johnson was one of Kari’s past relationships, and also a client of hers.
Patti tells Kari that she’s an ex-boyfriend “collector,” and advises her to cut off contact with all her exes.
Kari also desires a strong, successful, confident man.
Patti chimes in with platitudes about “you need someone to balance your balance.”
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Stephanie Pratt, Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag, Kari Whitman”: the recruiting session and mixer
The recruiting session was a weird mix of Patti working out at a gym and talking to dudes and then a more traditional interview session at the office. Otherwise, it was all super boring so let’s skip to the mixer.
When Kari talks to a group of men, Patti quickly scolds her multiple times for talking about her “resume” too much. At one point she says, “I’m sorry, they’re not getting boners here.” Talk about a buzzkill.
Stephanie, as a reality TV veteran, is far more comfortable jumping in with talking to a group of dudes that she just met.
Both women hem and haw over who they choose for their “master date,” and we’re left in suspense until the next segment.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Stephanie Pratt, Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag, Kari Whitman”: Kari and Emilio’s first date
Kari chose Emilio, a mixologist, because she finds him both hot and also feels that he’s ready to settle down for a serious relationship. Emilio comes across as a mature, respectful person, and for his part he talks about how he sees Kari as a “very classy woman” who he’s attracted to.
The couple meets at an art studio, where they get a lesson in making pottery with clay.
“Your balls look a little soft,” Kari quips.
With the two getting along very well, Emillio quickly does the smooth move out of Ghost where he wraps his arms around Kari while she’s working with the clay.
Emilio tells the camera that it’s one of the best dates he’s ever been on.
Lunch is at a chic outdoor spot, where the two order oysters.
“Happy aphrodisiac,” Kari says, after which Emilio feeds her an oyster.
As Emilio is a mixologist, he then takes her over to the bar to show off his shaking and drink-mixing skills.
“Damn, you’re talented,” Kari says, obviously impressed.
This leads to their first kiss, so our guy’s skills obviously paid off.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Stephanie Pratt, Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag, Kari Whitman”: Stephanie and Trevor’s first date
Stephanie had a rough time choosing her date but finally opted for Trevor, an entrepreneur, in part because she felt like she had already known him for a long time.
When they sit down at an outdoor café in Santa Monica, Trevor presents Stephanie with the gift of a watch, which she seems to really appreciate.
Trevor reveals that he lost his mother to cancer a few years earlier, and that has helped him to focus on staying present and appreciating life.
Next, they head to the Santa Monica pier where they play a game of whack-a-mole. Stephanie wins and delights in presenting her date with the prize of a little stuffed animal of a tiger. Trevor then wins ring toss, and picks up an enormous pink stuffed pig. No word on the availability of a giant ass panda*.
* This a reference to the movie Adventureland, which is one of the best movies of all time.
Up on the Ferris wheel, Stephanie tells Trevor, “I’m not just saying this – this is the best first date I’ve ever been on. It’s a little scary!”
“You’re fine – you’ll be okay,” Trevor says, and then they kiss.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Stephanie Pratt, Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag, Kari Whitman”: post-dates upshot
Patti and Candice call Emilio first, who relays that he kissed Kari, “and she loved it.”
Via video chat, Kari says that Emilion was “really a gentleman.” “I want to spend time with him,” she adds.
David and Patti then call Trevor, who talks about he and Stephanie “shared a special moment” on the Ferris wheel. Patti encourages him to reach out to her right away to set up their next date.
Stephanie corroborates that it was a “creative, fun date” and that Trevor is “very sweet.”
The end of episode captions then reveal: “Kari’s date helped bring romance back into her life. She can now separate her past… from her current love life.” And: “Stephanie and Trevor are in touch, on the phone and via text. She is traveling in the U.K., but plans on seeing Trevor when she gets back.”
So despite Patti’s worst qualities emerging in this episode, she and The Millionaire’s Club go 2-0 this time around.
Some stats and info about The Millionaire Matchmaker – “Stephanie Pratt, Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag, Kari Whitman”
TV SHOW – The Millionaire Matchmaker
SEASON/EPISODE – Season 8, Episode 4
NETWORK/STREAMING SERVICE – Bravo
GENRE – Dating Shows, Reality TV, Trashtastic TV
AIR DATE – January 15th, 2015
GOOGLE PLAY DESCRIPTION – Patti is thrilled to get a call from Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag to set up Spencer’s sister Stephanie. Kari Whitman is a one-time Playmate turned interior designer to the stars. Patti learns that this gorgeous 40-something is still single because she is unable to leave her exes in the past.