“It’s not right for a man to go in and ask for directions.” – Dog the Bounty Hunter
Our guy Duane Chapman, a.k.a. Dog the Bounty Hunter, proclaims that his sons Leland and Justin are both “the future of America” and “the next generation of bounty hunters.”
Let’s take a moment out to recognize how bizarre Dog’s attire and entire look is on Dog the Bounty Hunter (and… I’m gonna assume in real life as well): wild mullet, dark glasses, leather bracelets and armbands that wouldn’t look entirely out of place at a sex or S&M club (I’d guess!), and that’s before getting to the motorcycle-meets-tailgating-meets-bail bondsman clothing he prefers.
Anyway, this episode’s titular “competition” is set up for Dog and his wife Beth to take on Leland and nephew Justin with the idea of going after one bail jumper apiece. Dog and Beth’s Team #1 assign themselves the “harder” challenge, Alfredo Augustine, while Leland and Justin’s Team #2 are tasked with finding Toni Vierra.
“If we’re young, fast, and quick, we can get this girl,” young Justin notes.
“See you loser,” Dog says, taunting the other team, as they head out.
Team #1’s assignment:
- Alfredo Augustine
- Charge: Drug Possession
Alfredo has been convicted of possession of narcotics, Dog notes, in addition to multiple assaults.
Dog pulls into a gas station, and then orders Beth to go inside to ask for directions to the address where Alfredo is listed as living with his girlfriend.
“It’s not right for a man to go in and ask for directions,” Dog tells the camera with the hint of a smile on his face. “It’s better for the women to do that,” he adds.
This is the era before Google Maps and Apple Maps, I suppose, in addition to the Cro-Magnon era that Dog the Bounty Hunter roams.
When Dog and Beth finally find and roll up to Alfredo’s house, there are a bunch of people milling around in the front yard. It’s here where you realize that for all of Dog and crew’s many ridiculous aspects, the nature of what they do can potentially be super dangerous, perhaps exacerbated by the fact that they aren’t actually police officers.
While Alfredo isn’t there, the family is friendly enough, and Dog and Beth put on a charm offensive to get their help in tracking their guy down.
Dog’s instinct is that Alfredo will be hiding out in a tent at a local beach. When they pull into the beach parking lot, they spot him on the sand immediately. He’s wearing a huge backpack so he submits to being captured right away after Dog points a can of mace in his face.
“I knew you guys was gonna come for me sooner or later, so I wasn’t gonna run,” Augustine tells Dog and Beth in the car. This attitude is not uncommon, it seems, for captives of Dog and the employees of Da Kine Bail Bonds.
Dog has real skill in empathizing with the people he captures. “I feel like I know you,” Augustine tells Dog, and Dog immediately responds, “I feel like I know you too.”
Back at the office, Dog advises him to “act like a dad,” and tells Augustine about how he had to learn this hard lesson after being let out of prison in Texas in 1979 for “murder” (I’m putting that in quotes because that’s all we are told here).
Meanwhile, over on Team #2, the assignment is:
- Wanted: Toni Vierra
- Charge: Drug Possession
Leland and Justin head over to a known address. An interesting insight here for those of us like me who are not very familiar with how bail bonds stuff works is when Leland mentions on route that he’s focused on either apprehending Vierra or getting $11,000. For him, it works either way, though of course the likelihood of his – or any bail bondsman – obtaining the cash without the person they’re after is nil to none.
They send in a local woman named Lili who they get to agree to flush out Toni’s presence, but it turns out that she’s told that Toni is “down in Waikiki.” They do get a new phone number, and have Lili call it under the rouse that she’s looking to buy some drugs.
Lili gets Toni on the phone, and it’s a little jarring to hear a conversation about “picking up a ‘G’ for my friends” that’s outside of the fictional framework of a TV show or movie. A meet is set up at the convention center in 45 minutes.
It’s in this scene that I also noted that Jason has a huge tattoo of an Air Jordan logo on his shoulder, so my man must be really heavily into that brand.
Dog and Beth, now back at the Da Kine Bail Bonds, agree to help out with the sting.
Once again, Toni is caught immediately upon sight when they see her at the convention center.
Now, the only “drama” that’s left is the reveal that Dog and Beth caught Augustine before Leland and Jason’s Team #2. Dog/Beth take considerable pleasure in “surprising” Leland/Jason that they the elders were still faster to their mark.
“I have a headache, I just want to go home,” Leland says.