“How much more of Rich’s oh twelve cab can we get down here?” – Jesse Kovacs
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Jesse Kovacs & A.J. Johnson”: Patti meets the clients
“I got the preacher sweat going on,” A.J. Johnson, 44, says before introducing himself as a “celebrity hairstylist” and “style guru” from Chicago in this edition of The Millionaire Matchmaker.
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Patti Stanger, watching this footage of A.J. with her team to this by asking, “Is he gay?”
“No,” Candice, Patti’s Director of Recruiting, responds. “He’s just detail oriented.”
This made me laugh, grimace, and sigh all at once.
Candice adds that A.J. is a “control freak.”
Later at that office, Candice introduces A.J. to Patti as “THE Patti Stanger” as though she were THE Bruce Dickinson from the Saturday Night Live cowbell sketch.
We also learn that A.J. Johnson’s salon and brand is called Chicagolicious, which honestly sounds like the name of a company that the main character in a romcom works at. Chicagolicious was also apparently a show on the Style Network, which I had never heard of. And honestly I spent a solid moment trying to figure out if I had ever heard of the Style Network.
A.J. insists on confidence in someone he’s dating, and also has a laundry list of other non-negotiable things that will prevent the ladies from making the cut with him, including:
- “Dishonesty”
- “Lazy”
- “Bad teeth”
- “Terrible extensions”
- “Just tacky”
- “Loud”
- “Not ladylike”
A.J. also tells Patti that he wants his lady to be between 5’7” and 5’9” in height.
But otherwise he’s super flexible.
Patti diagnoses that A.J.’s mother is controlling, and so therefore he has picked up that “belief system.” Her assessment is that he needs “to cut the umbilical cord.” Thank you, Dr. Patti?
Later, Patti refers to A.J. as a “fussy bot,” which seems not unfair.
Next up, Jesse Kovacs, 32, from San Diego, California introduces himself as an entrepreneur who co-owns a lounge called Liquid Lounge… and as an alumnus of Bachelor in Paradise, where he was known for “being an idiot” that ended up not being “favorable to my reputation.” He’s now looking for someone to share the “adventures of life” with.
During the little montage where we learn more about him, there’s one tremendously hilarious moment that I need to call out. We see Jesse on the phone, presumably having a conversation related to his job running his lounge. We also see a bottle of wine next to him on the counter with the brand name Kovacs on it, which I take to be product placement.
And then he says the following: “How much more of Rich’s oh twelve cab can we get down here?”
Oh twelve. Not twelve or 2012 bur oh twelve. Oh my.
Patti meets Jesse at an outdoor café, and her first question is, “Why do they always call you the dog, the douche, what’s the deal?”
Quickly she assesses that he’s a “total ass,” which isn’t totally inappropriate for a dude who refers to other women as “what’s-her-nuts?”
When Patti asks Jesse, “Do you want to fall in love? Do you want to get married?” in rapid fire succession, I’m weirdly reminded of Denzel Washington in Training Day when he tells perps, “Do you want to go to jail, or do you want to go home?”
Anyway, Patti also feels that Jesse pushes other women away and chooses women that aren’t right for him because he’s afraid of getting hurt. This does seem to be a grain of real insight – even if not wholly original – among Patti’s swirl of aggressive torrent of bromides and goofy metaphors.
Example of the latter: “I gotta scrape the mud off and let the sun shine.”
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Jesse Kovacs & A.J. Johnson”: the recruiting session and mixer
For reasons I can’t entirely explain, Jonathan Antin, who starred in the Bravo reality show Blow Out back in the day (a show I’ll admit I watched the hell out of), is brought in to help the fellas work on their “control issues.”
The recruiting session also has a different slant in this edition, with the ladies taking part in a photo shooting session, which gives Patti the chance to ask questions.
Those hard-hitting questions include things like, “What’s the best part of being a Libra?”
Patti is typically quicker with criticisms than compliments with the women who want a shot to marry a millionaire, though we occasionally get things such as, “Like your tits, by the way.”
Eventually, Patti settles on “the ambitious Melissa, the elegant Taliah, and Aimee, a businesswoman and mom” for AJ, and for Jesse, it’s “the artistic and ambitious Kylie, the entrepreneur Natalie, and well-traveled model, Kate.”
For the mini-date/semi-finalist round, Patti decides on a goofy set-up that’s akin to The Dating Game dating game show from back in the day. This means that Jesse and A.J. are seated with their backs turned to the ladies so they can hear but not see them.
So I guess Love Is Blind is a more contemporary reference for the analogy here?
The questions that the boys ask the ladies meet the goofiness of the moment. Example: A.J. asks Melissa about what he would find in the laundry basket at her house. I suppose the other highlight (lowlight?) is when A.J. asks Taliah if she’s into porn, who responds that she doesn’t see anything wrong with it and admits to checking it out now and again.”
As has been the case during this final season of The Millionaire Matchmaker, the editing process leaves the final choice of who the clients select to be their date on a really strange “cliffhanger,” making the audience wait until the date has actually begun to reveal each choice is.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Jesse Kovacs & A.J. Johnson”: Jesse and Kate’s first date
We finally learn that Jesse chose Kate when she meets him at an outdoor go kart racing place.
Kate tells the camera that Jesse is very good looking and that she’s excited about the date.
“Racing was a blast,” Jesse says before lamenting that he didn’t let Kate win.
Dinner is next at the Cantina Inn. Jesse and Kate seem to have a pretty relaxed energy together, and the two get into talking about their family and relationships.
Kate ends up telling Jesse that she had a lot of fun on the date and that she was “impressed” with his being a gentleman overall. That leads to them sharing a first kiss.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Jesse Kovacs & A.J. Johnson”: A.J. and Melissa’s first date
We get the reveal that A.J. selected Melissa as they meet at a vineyard.
Their first activity that we see, oddly, is the two removing their shoes and stomping on some grapes in a bucket. Soon, they get to wine tasting, where Melissa tells A.J. about her fashion brand, and likewise A.J. talks about his life as a “celebrity stylist.”
Lunch is at an outdoor café overlooking the ocean. Melissa and A.J. talk openly about how A.J. has been known to be “controlling,” and she separately tells the camera that perhaps A.J. could really use someone who can handle controlling him.
A.J. meanwhile tells the camera that he could see Melissa slotting in to become a “power couple” with him, which made me eye roll. But if Melissa ends up being into that, good for them, I guess?
A.J. asks Melissa out on a second date, and she uses that opportunity to “seal it with a kiss.” She even then tells the camera alongside A.J. that she’s into the power couple thing, so… bully for them.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Jesse Kovacs & A.J. Johnson”: post-dates upshot
David and Patti call Kate first, who said that the date went really well, and in fact the second date is already lined up for that very day. Jesse relays in the office that he too thinks that things are going really well so far. Patti congratulates him for being a “chivalrous gentleman” and leaving his “dog reputation” behind… at least for the time being.
“You’re out of the pound,” Patti adds.
Candice and Patti then call Melissa, who said that the date was “good,” but the bigger deal is that we learn that A.J. had set but then subsequently canceled their second date. A.J. then arrives at the office with flowers, but Patti is not mollified.
A.J. insists that he “wasn’t playing games” in canceling the date via text message, and then is immediately put on the phone with Melissa via Patti to ask for her forgiveness and a second shot… at a second date. Melissa accepts the apology and invitation.
The end of episode captions then tell us: “Jesse and Kate have gone out several times. Jesse is behaving himself and letting love take its time to bloom.” And: A.J. and Melissa have spoken several times, but have not gone out. A.J.’s control issues are preventing him from finding love.”
Some stats and info about The Millionaire Matchmaker – “Jesse Kovacs & A.J. Johnson”
TV SHOW – The Millionaire Matchmaker
SEASON/EPISODE – Season 8, Episode 9
NETWORK/STREAMING SERVICE – Bravo
AIR DATE – February 19th, 2015
GENRE – Reality TV, Dating Shows, Trashtastic TV
GOOGLE PLAY DESCRIPTION – Jesse Kovacss was on “The Bachelorette,” and instead of finding a mate, he gained a reputation for being a dog. Can Patti help “Canine Kovacss” undo the damage and find him the girl of his dreams? Stylist and hairdresser AJ Johnson of “Chicagolicious” had his own salon and product line in Chicago, but now he’s moved to Los Angeles to grow his brand. Patti quickly determines he is far too controlling and brings in celebrity hairstylist Jonathan Antin to school AJ on his picky ways.