“What’s Cameroon?” – Patti Stanger
To kick off this edition of The Millionaire Matchmaker, we get an update on Omar Soliman, who appeared as a Millionaire’s Club client in “Omar & Nick,” which focused on the duo who founded the moving company called College Hunks Hauling Junk.
Check out our full and snark-tastic Millionaire Matchmaker episode guide and updates! Trash and treasure in equal increments, we promise.
Turns out Omar is now married to a woman named Stacy, as we find out when the couple stops by the office. “Did he make you haul junk on the first date?” Patti Stanger asks Stacy, referring to the “test” that Omar subjected his TMM date to during the previous episode. She says no, thankfully, and then we learn that the happy couple has a cute little kid to show off as well.
Omar then segues into telling Patti about his “great friend Joe” who would be a great client for Patti. The Millionaire’s Club CEO pretends that this is information that she had no idea about before the segment was filmed.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Joe Bayen & Frank Cerino: client intros
Marissa, one of Patti’s new underlings this season, introduces Frank Cerino, a “hot Italian” who is a partner in a law firm that specializes in personal injury. Which is a nice way of saying that the firm specializes in ambulance chasing.
Frank is 44 years old but wants a woman who is between 28 and 38. “What a shocker,” Patti responds. In his intro video, Frank tells us that he lives in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, and his celebrity crushes include Eve Longoria.
Relationships haven’t lasted for Frank because he gets super nitpicky about minor faults or aspects of physical appearance. “He’s sick,” Marissa says with relation to this.
“He’s not interesting and has nothing to talk about… it’s about me, it’s about me, it’s about me,” Patti says before dubbing him a Great Expectations Guy.
Meanwhile, Joe Bayen – Omar of College Hunks Hauling Junk fame’s friend – is the other client on deck, who lives in Marina Del Rey, California and is 37 years old.
“He’s a really good-looking guy,” one of the underling dudes says. His background is also intriguing: Joe is from Cameroon and then grew up in Paris. He is also deemed as an “app investor” who is worth $40 million.
“What’s Cameroon?” Pattis asks.
We also find out that Joe Bayen is the CEO of ICS Ventures, and that his history also includes finishing fifth in the French nationals in the 100-meter race. Our guy is a sprinter, in other words. Oh, and he’s met Barack Obama three times.
Joe is looking for a woman who is fit and beautiful but who also has depth.
After all of this, Patti’s brilliant idea is that these fellas need a “bikini mixer” so that they can find their respective future wives.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Joe Bayen & Frank Cerino: Patti meets the clients
Patti stops by Joe’s condo, where she compliments him on his good taste in décor.
Joe tells Patti that in the past, he’s been focused on himself and his career, but that he’s now ready to settle down and find a lifelong partner. He’s also looking for someone “artistic/cultural” and who is in good shape.
In addition to Patti’s normal “rules” such as “no sex before monogamy,” Patti slaps a new rule (without crediting Bill Maher) that Joe must stay in LA for at least a month so that he can get to know the woman that Patti will eventually find for him.
Frank later makes a visit to the Millionaire’s Club office, where we learn that he is “just” looking for someone who he can connect with (as we see footage of his rolling around south Florida in a vintage-looking Bentley), but then we also learn that Frank’s requirements include:
- dark hair
- fit body – “always” is the word he uses for this
- nice legs
- somewhat dark complexion
Patti tells Frank that he has a “chip on his shoulder” when it comes to having overly high standards with his relationships and that he’ll “end up in a nursing home” that way.
Then Patti separately tells the camera: “This guy’s not that good looking, come on, let’s be real. He ain’t Leonardo DiCaprio,” adding that he’s also “way too old” to be expecting “perfect tens.”
Meanwhile, Frank tacks onto his requirements:
- honesty
- loyalty – “number one” is how he puts this
Then Patti calls him a “critical beaver,” which I’m not sure what that means, followed by labeling him as Shallow Hal, which I do know what that means as I love the Farrelly brothers and will watch anything that involves my man Jack Black a.k.a. Jables. But that’s not important right now.
Which means it’s time for a gimmick! Patti instructs Frank to call up the last three women he ended a relationship with to “apologize.”
“It’s Patti’s 12-step,” Frank replies.
When Patti leaves, Frank adds, “Let’s just say I called the women and leave it at that.”
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Joe Bayen & Frank Cerino: the recruiting session and mixer
Highlights from the recruiting session include:
- Michelle is a pro football player in the ladies’ arena football league and also a wrestler known as The Seducer. So, of course, Patti encourages her to put one of her underling dudes in a choke hold.
- Vlada is a Russian gymnastics coach who also has lived in France and speaks four languages, including French, so she’s tagged as a good candidate for Joe.
- Brandy, 34, is known to her friends as Flipper because of the dolphin noises she can make. She demonstrates this for the panel of course. She is Team Frank at this stage.
- Francesca is a gymnast who is commanded to do a split. This is quite an active recruiting session, as it turns out.
- Christina is a dancer who has toured with Beyonce and is therefore commanded to twerk on command.
- Yolibeth is a belly dancer, so you can guess where that is going.
- Patti flips out on some young woman because she hesitates when asked if she would cut her hair before the mixer.
The big deal about the mixer is that it’s a poolside deal with the ladies strolling around in bikinis, but the big shocker comes into play when Frank doesn’t show up. He apparently sent an e-mail to Marissa stating that he “just couldn’t go through with it.”
Patti’s take: “He’s not a man, he’s a f—ing pussy.”
Also: Joe gets to benefit by being put in the “Hugh Hefner position” of having 20 ladies in bikinis to choose from. Joe takes it in stride though, seeming to possess a nice balance of confidence without being an egomaniac. Which on the other hand, makes for pretty low potential for this one as being a trainwreck episode.
There’s no mini-date round, so Patti eventually jumps to prompt Joe to select the lady he’d like to take out on a full blown master date. He finds Michelle to be mature and beautiful, but ends up going with Natalie, who he finds to be fun and interesting (and her pursuit of a law degree is a plus in his book).
Meanwhile, because Frank Cerino bailed, Patti plucks Yolibeth out of the bikini mixer group to go out on a date with Teague Egan, whom she terms a “problem client.” Patti also calls him the Phantom of the Opera for reasons that remain unclear, but it seems he doesn’t listen to her advice and ends up messing things up with the women she finds for him.
In an even stranger twist, Patti decides that Yolibeth and Teague will go out on a “chaperone date” with herself and boyfriend David so that she can keep a close eye on things.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Joe Bayen & Frank Cerino: Joe and Natalie’s first date
Joe takes Natalie to Marina Beach to play beach volleyball to start off their date. Rachel, a pro beach volleyball player, is brought in to give the couple a lesson. Rachel happily surprised Joe by being a natural, and soon the couple challenged a nearby couple to a match.
This is followed by a picnic on the beach that includes champagne and strawberries. Joe has a relaxed way about him, and jokes around about hitting the nearby seagulls by way of opening the champagne bottle.
Natalie calls Joe a charmer and he replies, “Well, you know, I’m French.”
Dinner takes place at a bistro called Soleil. It’s impressive that Joe recognizes that it’s not the fanciest restaurant, but he enjoys it because it’s authentic. Relatedly, he tells Natalie that he tries to not get caught up in his wealth, and really prizes enjoying the simple things in life.
Joe tells the camera that Natalie is driven and funny and feels there’s genuine chemistry there.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Joe Bayen & Frank Cerino: Teague and Yolibeth’s first date
Teague, who we now learn is an entrepreneur, is introduced to Yolibeth at the spot where the group date is taking place, which is a cooking class lead by Liz Alexanian. “We’re gonna be making gluten-free pasta from scratch,” she tells them.
It is flat out bizarre watching Patti, from across a prep table, actively prompting Teague to ask questions about Yolibeth’s life while they are all working combining pasta ingredients and stuff.
At one point, an agitated Patti threatens to hit Teague over the head with a rolling pin if, and this is a direct quote, “you don’t start getting interesting! Hello? Wake up and smell the coffee!”
Over dinner, Patti continued to pepper Teague with questions and prompts, but it did finally elicit that he’s preparing to run the Boston Marathon (relating to “giving back” after the terrorist event that took place during a previous marathon, but it’s not totally clear what that means).
In any event, this seems to impress Yolibeth, and she tells the camera that at first she thought he was “a typical L.A. guy,” but now she feels there’s some real chemistry there.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Joe Bayen & Frank Cerino: post-dates upshot
Patti calls up Yolibeth, who says Teague is “really, really nice.” And in fact, they are planning to go out soon to celebrate their birthday. In the office, Teague agrees that things are going really well. “Keep it up… let this be your new personality,” Patti tells him (weirdly).
Next, Patti and underling Justin call Natalie. She termed her date with Joe to be “wonderful,” and that it was a really fun date overall. Though they didn’t kiss, he did ask her out on a second date.
Joe then stops by the office, Joe corroborates that he’s looking forward to his next date with Natalie, which will take place in Las Vegas. Patti is thrilled how things are going for him, and it’s easy to agree with her on this one.
The end of episode captions then tell us: “Joe and Natalie are still in touch. But the romance is on hold as Natalie is in Michigan finishing law school.” And: “Teague learned so much from his practice date, he has begun dating someone new. He won’t say if he’s made it past the ‘no sex for three months’ mark.”
Oh! And: “Patti has not heard back from Frank, her runaway millionaire. He is back in Florida and still very single.”
So… it’s kind of an 0-3 episode for Patti and crew, I’d say?
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Joe Bayen & Frank Cerino: where are they now?
Joe Bayen’s Instagram profile doesn’t offer much insight into his personal life, but it does promote that he’s the founder of a company called Grow Credit, which is about building “credit for free.”
As opposed to many of The Millionaire Matchmaker’s clients, Grow Credit looks to be a legit company, having received $106 million in funding in 2021.
Some stats and info about The Millionaire Matchmaker – “The Running Man and Great Expectations”
TV SHOW – The Millionaire Matchmaker
SEASON/EPISODE – Season 7, Episode 4
NETWORK/STREAMING SERVICE – Bravo
AIR DATE – December 26th, 2013
GENRE – Reality TV, Dating Shows, Trashtastic TV
STARS – Patti Stanger, Joe Bayen, Frank Cerino
GOOGLE PLAY DESCRIPTION – Thirty-seven-year-old Joe Bayen was raised in Paris and has a net worth of $40 million. The entrepreneur and former champion runner made his fortune with computer apps. Joe wants to settle down and have a family, but he keeps traveling the globe for business and isn’t taking time to meet a future wife. Can Patti get this “running man” to stand still long enough so he can meet the girl of his dreams? Patti’s second millionaire this week is Florida lawyer Frank Cerino. All the women Frank meets can’t reach his “great expectations” and are soon dumped for various shallow reasons. Can Mr. Great Expectations change? This week holds a twist, as one millionaire backs out before his mixer, forcing Patti to help out a third client, Teague Eagan, who made his fortune in music and sports. Patti has sent Teague out on numerous dates but nothing sticks since he doesn’t listen to Patti. Patti must lead by example when she crashes Teague’s next date to offer advice in person.