“Maybe we shouldn’t of did this.” – Patty
Your pop culture afterburner – fueling obsessive pop culture projects and deeply opinionated coverage of TV, movies, and music.
Category: TV
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Ian Bernardo & Jeff Ogden (“The Trust Fund Brat & The Cliffdiver”): let me tell you how I spell love
“I’m unique and other people can’t handle it.” – Ian Bernardo
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Matt Brooks & Adam Winters (“Mr. President Meets the ‘Beverly Hillbilly’”): if you make the money, you make the rules
“What Southern fantasy world is this guy living in?” – Patti
American Hoggers, “Junkyard Hog”: will these untested dogs hunt?
“Hogs like to eat anything. They eat baby sheep, baby goats.” – Jerry Campbell, The Hog Boss
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Katrina Parker & Dr. Theo Kousouli (“Workaholics”): seeking Mr. Darcy
“How long have you been 29?” – Patty Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Stefan Richter & Brian Minter (“Kid in a Candy Store and Groundhog Day”): the grim reaper of love
“I can’t have a vegan, I would kill myself.” – Stefan Richter
Kitchen Nightmares, “Peter’s”: goodfellas in Babylon
“That’s just like baby food inside gunk.” – Gordon Ramsay
Hotel Hell, “Meson De Mesilla”: beige on beige on beige
“I bought the hotel to sing.” – Cali Szczawinski
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Fiona Forbes & Jack Roddy (“The Shy Extrovert and The Rescuer”): getting those wheels greased downstairs
“He’s a little rougher around the edges than my average client.” – Patti Stanger
Hoarders: Buried Alive, “Surviving On Trash”: everything needs to be gutted
“There is rodent feces and rodent urine.” – Tony
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Robbie Mione & Dane Dunn (“Mr. Superficial and the Nutjob Magnet”): creepy city
“A boat doesn’t make your dick bigger.” – Robbie Mione
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Rosie Pierri & Andrew Christian (“The Late Bloomer and The Gay Hugh Hefner”): it’s gonna sparkle
“We got a 46-year-old virgin over here.” – Rich
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Joe Bayen & Frank Cerino (“The Running Man and Great Expectations”): it’s about me, it’s about me, it’s about me
“What’s Cameroon?” – Patti Stanger
Kitchen Nightmares, “Mike and Nellie’s”: it tastes like there’s chemicals
“Did somebody die in here?” – Gordon Ramsay
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Courtney Kerr & Stefan Dahlqvist (“Courtney and The Peacock”): prima donna Dallas
“Why don’t they use tongue?” – Patti Stanger
Work of Art, “Kitsch Me If You Can”: what the hell are you making?
Season Two of the Bravo reality show gives it another go.
Work It, “Pilot”: far-fetched humor
How long will Lee and Angel be able to work it?
Sister Wives, “Wives on the Move”: one step closer to four wives
The Browns throw a birthday party for Robyn, then move her closer to the family house in preparation for getting married.
Sister Wives, “Sister Wives in Holiday Crisis,” Christmas comes and the Browns go
“No one can take away your Christmas.” – Robyn
Breaking Bad, “Live Free Or Die”: like a beloved drug
Perhaps the most fitting episode title for this show ever.
Wilfred, “Trust”: carne diem
“Trust thyself, and only another shall betray thee.” – William Penn
Wilfred, “Sacrifice”: sogni d’oro
“Never underestimate the power of a dream.” – Cinzia
Wilfred, “Respect”: compassionate care
“You’ve lost your mind, it’s like you’ve got some kind of God Complex.” – Ryan
Wilfred, “Pride”: right rabbit, wrong hole
“It’s eat or be eaten. Find the animal within.” – Wilfred
Wilfred, “Isolation”: the two Wilfreds
“It’s nice to be a part of the community.” – Ryan
Wilfred, “Identity”: closet case
“I know why you’re here now. To stop me from slipping down that slope.” – Ryan
Wilfred, “Fear”: fear and loathing in a strip club
“That motorcycle dick is ruining the neighborhood.” – Wilfred
Wilfred, “Doubt”: revelations?
“I don’t really know what snout-rape means, but I hate my mailman too.” – Angelique
Wilfred, “Conscience”: chocoholics
“I’ve seen more aggressive ball play in an airport men’s room.” – Wilfred
Wilfred, “Anger”: possession is nine-tenths of the episode
“Anger is like herpes, you’re not meant to keep it to yourself.” – Wilfred
Wilfred, “Acceptance”: peanut buttery goodness
“My anal glands need to be expressed, it’s my constitutional right.” – Wilfred
Who’s Still Standing, “Country Strong”: trap door bore
Ben Bailey hosts a disappointing game show on NBC.
Whitney, “Pilot”: new show, old feeling
“Marriage is so dumb.” – Whitney
What makes a TV show “good” versus “great”?
I’ve become more interested over time about what makes a show “great” versus merely “good,” and the ways in which good, very good, and great shows as a group have come to raise the bar on television quality overall.
Weeds, “Viking Pride”: drugs, tunnels, murder
“I slept with 14 guys my junior year… I have had herpes for 27 years.” – Patricia, a high school classmate of Nancy’s
Weeds, “Vehement v. Vigorous”: trimming herbs and cutting deals
“You have no idea what a good day this is turning out to be!” – Nancy to the SCC agents, sticking up her middle finger at Counsellor Ed.
Weeds, “Une Mère Que J’aimerais Baiser”: put it in a fancy box
“C’mon Nance, these are well-respected members of high society. They do coke.” – Doug
Weeds, “To Moscow, and Quickly”: radioactive-green poop
“Little dude, pay for the popcorn. Or I will blow this rape whistle and then punch you.” – Concessionaire
Weeds, “Theoretical Love Is Not Dead”: will we ever Plan C you again?
“I wanna get to know my sperm daddy.” – Silas
Weeds, “System Overhead”: don’t mess with the Andy
“Living your myopic lives? Okay, cool.” – Andy
Weeds, “Synthetics”: high time for crime
“I’m sorry, you might want to go away because I don’t like you, and I have a bad habit of losing things I don’t like in fires.” – Zoya
Weeds, “Qualitative Spatial Reasoning”: Botwin versus Botwin
“Demitri makes me nervous. He makes me feel short, and sleight. I kind of want to touch his bicep – like once – why is that?” – Andy
Weeds, “Pinwheels and Whirligigs”: love is like a roller coaster, baby, baby
“I could be a carny.” – Doug Wilson
Weeds, “Only Judy Can Judge”: family dinner, round two
Nancy’s recovery seems to set the tone for the final season of Weeds.
Weeds, “Object Impermanence”: ganja garden
“You’re in Humboldt, now – where property laws say I can defend my land against any and all aggressors, trespassers, and interloping-nightmare-b—-es from the past!” – Heylia James
Weeds, “Gentle Puppies”: squandered potential
Not even Zack Morris can save this.
Weeds, “Game-Played”: try again, fail better
“I can be a real person, I can, I’ve been one before. It was… good.” – Nancy
Weeds, “From Trauma Cometh Something”: the Botwins and their drama momma
“Sure, maybe she possibly, let’s say probably, fled from us. Who in this room hasn’t fled? It’s a family flaw.” – Andy
Weeds, “Fran Tarkenton”: last minute change of travel arrangements
“Who killed Pilar Zuazo?” – Vaughn
Weeds, “Fingers Only Meat Banquet”: dig up roots, replant
“Gather ye balls! Don’t just sit on ’em, show ’em to the world!” – Charles