Explore every wild date and Patti Stanger takedown in our Millionaire Matchmaker episode guide, packed with longform recaps and reality TV drama.
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Tag: Dating Shows
Love Island: Beyond the Villa – where the drama really begins (how to watch and when!)
Post-villa Los Angeles, where fan favorites reunite under the LA sun.
Love Is Blind: UK (Season 2 Premiere, Episode 1: “The Pods Are Open”) – How to Watch (and When!)
A full 10-episode emotional adventure, heartfelt connections hidden in the pods, and British romantic poise awaits.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Julissa Bermudez & Adam O’Rourke”: my rig is tight
“Boys do what they want to do, men do what they have to do.” – Adam O’Rourke
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Jesse Kovacs & A.J. Johnson”: the dog, the douche, what’s the deal?
“How much more of Rich’s oh twelve cab can we get down here?” – Jesse Kovacs
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Allison Baver & Devin Alexander”: you’re 42 approaching 50
“I want the inner vixen coming out, okay?” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Chris Manzo and Max Hodges”: you don’t got game
“It’s supernatural, man… love.” – Max Hodges
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Marysol Patton & Luke Rockhold”: I smell some money
“If it’s not Mr. Right, it might be Mr. Right Now.” – Reza Farahan
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Stephanie Pratt, Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag, Kari Whitman”: looks is sex, money is security
“I’m sorry, they’re not getting boners here.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Perez Hilton & Sonja Morgan”: daddy gave tongue?
“If you don’t make money, you’re not going to be able to keep up with me.” – Sonja Morgan
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Ally Shapiro, Jill Zarin and Prince Ferdinand”: a metrosexual Hans and Franz
“He looks gay, but he’s really European.” – Patti Stanger.
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas & Jeff Ogden (“Chilli & Jeff Ogden”): you’ve gotta get a sense of humor
“Kick him out, go go!” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford”: care bears and nixing vixens
“Jesus be a bowling ball!” – Melyssa Ford
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Kevin Grangier & Anthony Cools (“Kevin & Anthony”): no hypnotizing on your date
“What’s with the hair and the teeth and… he’s aging poorly.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Farrah Franklin & Kevin Ou (“Farrah & Kevin”): you’re no Keanu Reeves
“Sample the buffet.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Zagros Bigvand & Uri Man (“Zagros & Uri”): crossing continents with gold and diamonds
“I need to help Uri grow some balls.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Michael Prozer & Dr. Robert Nettles (“Michael & Dr. Robert”): trailer park trash
“It was inconsiderate, arrogant, not sexy.” – Alanna
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Paul Davis & Alex Edelstein (“Paul & Alex”): it’s like Bozo hair, clown hair
“He reminds me of Robocop.” – Destin
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Matt & Jimmy”: he’s a man whore
“Chicago’s dried up and now they want another city.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Dave Levine & Shauna Raisch (“Dave/Shauna”): she’s telling you she’s good in bed, duh
“How many more vibrators can I take?” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Daniel Maltzman & Chris Palzis (“Daniel & Chris”): Nobody likes a brag-asaurus
“I am an artiste. I hope you like it hot.” – Daniel Maltzman
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Harold Wrobel & Jeff Koz (“Harold & Jeff”): I’m not your whipping boy, okay?
“He is gonna end up in the nursing home alone, okay? Incontinent, unloved.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Heinz Holba & Paul Murad (“Heinz/Paul”): a first date wedding proposal?
“Do you think he escaped the Taliban?” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Dawn Robinson & Diana Gowins (“Nene’s Bridesmaids”): lead with the sexy
“I’m not a game player.” – Diana Gowins
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Steve Lobel & Rachel Uchitel (“Return of the Teddy Bear and The Shredder”): guns, gondolas, and bats
“I’m not perfect, but I’m picky.” – Steve Lobel
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Vegas” Dave Oancea & Gerry McCambridge (“Make Time for Love and Betting On Change”): trailer park city
“You’re just gonna tell me that Yoda over there sleeps with girls and they just fall at his feet.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, John Bonavia & David Epstein (“Frat Brat and Numb with Fear”): making Hollywood his frat house
“Sometimes boobs come with a kangaroo pouch.” – John Bonavia
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Justin Cooper & Chad Towersey (“The Fixer and The Dick”): I’m a guy at the end of the day
“Did I have a one-night stand last weekend? Yeah.” – Chad Towersey
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Dr. Emil Chynn & Daniel Passov (“The Technical Brain and Moonstruck”): in the freaking hot tub
“Where’s the farm, where’s the cow you’re milking?” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Ian Bernardo & Jeff Ogden (“The Trust Fund Brat & The Cliffdiver”): let me tell you how I spell love
“I’m unique and other people can’t handle it.” – Ian Bernardo
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Matt Brooks & Adam Winters (“Mr. President Meets the ‘Beverly Hillbilly’”): if you make the money, you make the rules
“What Southern fantasy world is this guy living in?” – Patti
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Katrina Parker & Dr. Theo Kousouli (“Workaholics”): seeking Mr. Darcy
“How long have you been 29?” – Patty Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Stefan Richter & Brian Minter (“Kid in a Candy Store and Groundhog Day”): the grim reaper of love
“I can’t have a vegan, I would kill myself.” – Stefan Richter
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Fiona Forbes & Jack Roddy (“The Shy Extrovert and The Rescuer”): getting those wheels greased downstairs
“He’s a little rougher around the edges than my average client.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Robbie Mione & Dane Dunn (“Mr. Superficial and the Nutjob Magnet”): creepy city
“A boat doesn’t make your dick bigger.” – Robbie Mione
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Rosie Pierri & Andrew Christian (“The Late Bloomer and The Gay Hugh Hefner”): it’s gonna sparkle
“We got a 46-year-old virgin over here.” – Rich
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Joe Bayen & Frank Cerino (“The Running Man and Great Expectations”): it’s about me, it’s about me, it’s about me
“What’s Cameroon?” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Courtney Kerr & Stefan Dahlqvist (“Courtney and The Peacock”): prima donna Dallas
“Why don’t they use tongue?” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Jonathan Cheban & Eric Berman (“The Know-It-All and Bigger Better Berman”): my ass is grass karmically
“How loud do you orgasm?” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, don swayze & Randy lehrman (“Softy Swayze and The Boy In A Bubble”): the virtual phantom
“They’re uptight and their face looks like leather.” – Randy Lehrman
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Seth Grabel & Marty Yacoobian (“The Magnificent Seth Meets Party Marty”): Brad Pitt you’re not
“Are all magicians femme?” Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Damian Guillot & Dr. Chris Patton (“The Red-Headed Mixer”): redheads a go go
“Goddamn, daddy’s not looking to f—ing sit on the couch and f—king play tiddlywinks and start f—king crocheting.” – Damian Guillot
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Allison Baver & Adam Gaynor (“The Olympian and the Rock Star”): femme-y, flat, and Gumby
“I don’t want to f— a comedian.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Aimee Elizabeth & Matt Riviera (“The Dancer and the Wrestler”): the prize bass stud stallion of the natural state
“I bring way too much to this world not to be re-created.” – Matt Riviera
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Angela Lutin & Shonda Lewis (“Alpha Females”): Dances With Wolves and The Apprentice
“You don’t like having your balls carried around in a jar.” – Angela Lutin
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Andrew & Laurence”: worshipping carnality
“Membership will not be refunded.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, Irv Richards & Stephanie Costa (“Denise Richards’ Dad Is Looking For Love)”: like a princess
“Did chivalry fall off a cliff?” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Robby/Brendan”: roller skates are my ride
“If you take my advice, you will get married. If you refuse my advice, you’ll be single forever.” – Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Bill & Heidi”: hydropaths and kingfishing
“Show off the knockers.” – Patti
The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Brett & David”: we are not an escort service
“What scares them away, my incredible talent?” – David Golshan